這世界就像一條不合身的褲子，像一件糟糕難看的衣服。
出自電影《尼蒙利斯連環不幸事件》 的經典對白。
更多尼蒙利斯連環不幸事件的經典對白
這世界就像一條不合身的褲子，像一件糟糕難看的衣服。
Count Olaf: Now that we're a family, I can be the ulll-timate DAD.
Sunny: She's the *mayor* of crazy town!
Count Olaf: Damnit. This was such a good character.
Count Olaf: Let us go back to the time when dinosaurs ruled the earth! ... What are you staring at?
Count Olaf: I will raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted!
Count Olaf: Take them Mr. Poe, before I lose it big time.
Aunt Josephine: The black plague! Is it the black plague?
Count Olaf: I'm very disappointed in you children.
Klaus Baudelaire: Violet, nothing happens by coincidence.
Klaus Baudelaire: These things don't just happen.
Count Olaf: He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh.
Count Olaf: Hello, I'm looking for Dr. Montgomery Montgomery. My name is Stephano, I am an Italian man.
Count Olaf: You just stay where you're at and we'll come where you're to!
Count Olaf: Sure, I get the good parking spots, but who could love a man with one leg and a face like a hen's arse?
Lemony Snicket: This would be an excellent time to walk out of the theater, living room, or airplane where this film is being shown.
Lemony Snicket: There is two kinds of fear. Rational and irrational. Being afraid of realtors is irrational.
Do you have a hall pass? Count Olaf: Didn't think so.
Count Olaf: But I don't care about them. I chose to open my heart to you two lovely children and your hideous primate.
Klaus Baudelaire: Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough?
Klaus Baudelaire: What would Violet do? What would Violet do? There's always something. There's always something.
The Critic: I didn't know they had this budget!
Hook-Handed Henchman: Look what I did to pretty little home... Let's finish it!
Count Olaf: Perhaps you should reevaluate your hypothesis.
White Faced Woman #2: He said the milkmaid, not the cow.
Violet Baudelaire: Aunt Josephine that is not helping!
Klaus Baudelaire: Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?
Klaus Baudelaire: Everything happens for a reason.
Count Olaf: Now that we're a family, I can be the ulll-timate DAD.
Sunny: She's the *mayor* of crazy town!
Count Olaf: Damnit. This was such a good character.
Count Olaf: I will raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted!
Count Olaf: Take them Mr. Poe, before I lose it big time.
Count Olaf: In-trude!
Aunt Josephine: The black plague! Is it the black plague?
Sunny: Someone's been to crazy town.
Klaus Baudelaire: Violet, nothing happens by coincidence.
Sunny: She's the *mayor* of crazy town!
Count Olaf: Damnit. This was such a good character.
Count Olaf: Take them Mr. Poe, before I lose it big time.
Aunt Josephine: The black plague! Is it the black plague?
Count Olaf: I'm very disappointed in you children.
Violet Baudelaire: It's the letter! The letter that never came! Violet Baudelaire: 'Dearest children - since we've been abroad we have missed you all so much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, when you're older, you will learn all about the people we have befriended and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, darlings, but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you three will take care of each other, with kindness and bravery and selflessness, as you always have. And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family. And you are home.'
Violet Baudelaire: Dinner is served. Puttanesca. Count Olaf: What did you call me? Klaus Baudelaire: It's pasta... Pasta Puttanesca. Count Olaf: Where's the roast beef? Klaus Baudelaire: Roast beef? Count Olaf: Beef, yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted!
Count Olaf: Ah! My dear... Count Olaf: Violet. Enchantée! Violet Baudelaire: Uh... how do you do? Count Olaf: And this must be Klaus! Young Klaus! Your left side is the good one. Count Olaf: And... what is *this*? Sunny: I'm Sunny! Count Olaf: I'm sorry. I don't speak monkey.
Count Olaf: Goodbye children. It's been fun. Count Olaf: I'm gonna get you kids. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll *find* you! Oh, you are so deceased!
Klaus Baudelaire: Aunt Josephine? Violet Baudelaire: Never heard of her. Klaus Baudelaire: Doesn't it strike you odd that none of our relatives are related to us?
Count Olaf: Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner? Violet Baudelaire: Dinner? Count Olaf: It's the French word for the evening meal.
Aunt Josephine: The children are going to serve puttanesca. Count Olaf: The very meal I ate before they took me leg!
Uncle Monty: We can have time for chit-chat later. What I need now is the work of a reader, an inventor, and a biter. Sunny: My teeth are at your service, sir.
Violet Baudelaire: On three, we're gonna break that beam. Klaus Baudelaire: Break it? Violet Baudelaire: Yes. Klaus Baudelaire: But that's the only thing keeping us up. Violet Baudelaire: Exactly. Klaus Baudelaire: Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough?
Aunt Josephine: Where's your brother? Violet Baudelaire: Kitchen. Aunt Josephine: Klaus! What are you doing? Klaus Baudelaire: Napkins. Aunt Josephine: Napkins. Oh, napkins are here. Come away from the fridge. If it falls it'll crush you flat.
Violet Baudelaire: Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe, and we thought they'd abandoned us because they didn't even write? And then we found out they'd written a long letter and it had just gotten lost in the mail. Do you remember how guilty we felt for thinking bad thoughts about them? This is just like that. Klaus Baudelaire: No it's not. Violet Baudelaire: Why? Klaus Baudelaire: Because they're not in Europe. They're not coming back
Aunt Josephine: Oh, God, I hate it here. Violet Baudelaire: Well, Aunt Josephine, have you ever thought of, maybe, moving someplace else? Maybe, if you moved away from Lake Lachrymose, you might feel better. Aunt Josephine: Oh, I could never, never, never, never sell this house. Aunt Josephine: I'm terrified of realtors. Lemony Snicket: There are two kinds of fears. Rational and irrational. Being afraid of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtor: Is this a bad time? Aunt Josephine: Klaus Baudelaire: We gotta get her out of the house.
Klaus Baudelaire: You know, Curdled Cave is for sale. Aunt Josephine: So? Klaus Baudelaire: So, pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors.
Count Olaf: He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh.
