Major Payne: If he's still in there he ain't happy!
出自電影《退伍阿 Sir》 的經典對白。
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Major Payne: If he's still in there he ain't happy!
Major Payne: Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?
Kevin 'Tiger' Dunn: Major Payne wiped out the enemy with extreme prejudice!
Major Payne: Ain't no need for name-callin'!
Major Payne: Chooga chooga chooga chooga, chooga chooga chooga chooga... toot toot!
Major Payne: To be continued... When I come back, I'll tell you what Bubba used as a penis!
Major Payne: You eye me one more time I'll snatch it out and put it in Heathcoat's cookie bag!
Major Payne: Hello cue balls! Welcome to the house of Payne!
Major Payne: If he's still in there he ain't happy!
Major Payne: Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?
Kevin 'Tiger' Dunn: Major Payne wiped out the enemy with extreme prejudice!
Major Payne: Ain't no need for name-callin'!
Major Payne: To be continued... When I come back, I'll tell you what Bubba used as a penis!
Major Payne: You eye me one more time I'll snatch it out and put it in Heathcoat's cookie bag!
Major Payne: Hello cue balls! Welcome to the house of Payne!
Major Payne: Chooga chooga chooga chooga, chooga chooga chooga chooga... toot toot!
Emily: Apparently he had a little accident. Major Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants. Emily: Well maybe that's because he's six. Major Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.
Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, are you telling me that nowhere in the military is there any longer a job for trained human weapons of destruction such as myself? Gen. Decker: Most blood is now shed in the halls of Congress, Payne. Guys like us are becoming dinosaurs. Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them. Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.
Major Payne: Maybe I like you. Emily: Just like? Major Payne: Maybe I like you a lot. Emily: That's it? Major Payne: Don't push the "maybes", baby.
Woliger: Achoo! Major Payne: What the hell was that you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie? Woliger: No, sir. Major Payne: Then you hold it before I kick your ass back to Mayberry.
Cadet Williams: You's a pure, genius! Who you? Redd Fox? No, better yet, Richard Pryor, ain't you? Hoo. Major Payne: What's your name, girlfriend? Cadet Williams: Dwight Williams, but the boys call me D, sir. You can call me D. Major Payne: D, hmm? Cadet Williams: Yeah, brother? Major Payne: You like the way I handle these white boys, D? Cadet Williams: Oh, yeah! Major Payne: It make you feel good to see a black man runnin' things, huh? Cadet Williams: Malcolm X. Major Payne: Well, let me tell ya something, D. Cadet Williams: Yeah, brother? Major Payne: Why don't you come closer. Major Payne: I am not your damn brother! Now drop down, give me 20 squat thrusts now!
Major Payne: Got no worry, got no stress! Cadets: Got no worry, got no stress. Major Payne: 'Cause we feel good in a dress. Cadets: 'Cause we feel good in a dress. Major Payne: Major Payne's a major diss. Cadets: Major Payne's a major diss. Major Payne: He makes us squat when we piss. Cadets: He makes us squat when we piss. Major Payne: Got no worries, got no care. Cadets: Got no worries, got no care. Major Payne: I'm just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair. Cadets: I'm just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair. Major Payne: I tell ya, ladies, you're the prettiest cadets under my command. I oughta change my name to Pimp Daddy Payne.
Guerilla Leader: You'd better give up, senor, you cannot kill us all. Major Payne: Nope, but I can clean your colon quicker than one of them burrito with extra guacamole sauce!
Emily: He's trying to show you some affection. Major Payne: I don't like it. It makes me feel all funny.
Major Payne: I surprised you ain't dropped 'bout 12 puppies by now. Ain't you never been married? Emily: Yeah, I was. Major Payne: What happened? You terminate his command? Emily: No, actually he left. I wanted children, he didn't. Major Payne: Any man that'd leave you outta be monkey-stomped and have his brains mailed back to his mother. Emily: Well, thank you Benson. How about you? Was there ever a Ms. Payne? Major Payne: Negative. I figure if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, they'd of issued me one.
Maj. Benson Payne: What do you want, Mr. Pee-Body? Emily Walburn: He's a little upset about this morning. Apparently, he had a little accident. Maj. Benson Payne: Apparently, he pissed all over the front of his pants. Emily Walburn: Well, maybe that's because he's six. Maj. Benson Payne: Maybe cause he six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.
Emily: Major Payne, can you please help me to understand why you shaved the children bald? Major Payne: Oh, that's my little incentive program. These boys have to earn their do... their hair-do that is. Heh,Heh,Heh.
Cadet Alex Stone: What about family and unity and all that other bullshit you said? Major Benson Winifred Payne: I never said family don't break up. Don't you watch Oprah?
Emily: Major! What are the boys doing in those dresses? Major Benson Winifred Payne: They puttin' on a fashion show. Emily: I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement. Weren't you going to be my big helper? Major Benson Winifred Payne: Yeah, but they started it. Emily: Well, I'm stopping it. Major Benson Winifred Payne: Don't touch my whistle. Emily: But I was just gonna... Major Benson Winifred Payne: Don't touch the whistle. Major Benson Winifred Payne: All right, ladies. Take off those dresses. Head back to your barracks. Fold 'em up neatly. Let's move it.
Emily: Here. I want you to read this book. Read it. Apply it. Major Payne: The ABC's Of Being A Positive Male Role Model?
Major Benson Winifred Payne: Be advised, ladies, we are going to WIN the Virginia Military Games this year! You will note my emphasis on "WIN": Whisky! India! November! GET USED TO HEARING THAT WORD! Major Benson Winifred Payne: A squad that lives together, wins together! UNITY, turds: that is the key word in UNIT, without the "Y!"
Major Payne: You know, there ain't no pets allowed on these here premises, Mr. Ace Ventura Blind New Cadet: Yeah, well maybe that doesn't apply to me. He's my blind seeing-eye dog Major Payne: What in the world would anybody want with a blind dog? Blind New Cadet: The dog ain't blind, I'm the one that's blind, you idiot


