Rusty Griswold: If Vin Diesel can do it, so can I!
出自電影《親子樂膠遊》 的經典對白。
更多親子樂膠遊的經典對白
Rusty Griswold: If Vin Diesel can do it, so can I!
Rusty Griswold: I just wanted to sing Seal with my family like normal people.
Stone Crandall: You can make hot water come out of the cold faucet.
Debbie Griswold: No one's calling me old. Fuck you. All right, boobs, pitcher. Let's go!
Utah Cop: It makes me sick how you deviants show up and desecrate this holy place every night.
Rusty Griswold: If Vin Diesel can do it, so can I!
Rusty Griswold: I just wanted to sing Seal with my family like normal people.
Stone Crandall: You can make hot water come out of the cold faucet.
Kevin Griswold: Can we go home now?
Debbie Griswold: No one's calling me old. Fuck you. All right, boobs, pitcher. Let's go!
Utah Cop: It makes me sick how you deviants show up and desecrate this holy place every night.
James Griswold: I've never even heard of the original vacation. Rusty Griswold: Doesn't matter. The new vacation will stand on its own.
Debbie Griswold: James, you are not going to fight. James Griswold: I am not going to stand here like a little bitch.
Rusty Griswold: Well, I thought it'd be fun for the kids to see where you went to college. Debbie Griswold: Oh, God. Why would that be fun for them, honey? Rusty Griswold: You can give us a tour. Maybe one of them could study there one day. James Griswold: Oh, no. No way, man. I've got my sights on something a little more Ivy League. Debbie Griswold: Huh. Little fucker. James Griswold: What, Ma? Debbie Griswold: I love you. That's what I said.
Rusty Griswold: Maybe for lunch we can find a burger place. You know, like a... Like a drive-through burger place. James Griswold: I don't know, Dad. I think we should steer clear of that. Rusty Griswold: Good one, James. Debbie Griswold: All right, enough, you guys. Dad hit a cow, okay? Let's just moo-ve on. Kevin Griswold: Oh, I got one. Rusty Griswold: Yeah, let's hear it. Kevin Griswold: James is a piece of shit. Rusty Griswold: Kinda missed the point there, buddy.
Kevin Griswold: There was a hole in the side of my stall. Rusty Griswold: Sounds like you found yourself a glory hole.
James Griswold: Mom, do you think Uncle Stone will let me ride his horse? Debbie Griswold: I don't see why not. Kevin Griswold: Do think I can shoot his guns? Debbie Griswold: No, you cannot. Kevin Griswold: Too bad. Kevin Griswold: I would've shot you right off that fuckin' horse.
Rusty Griswold: We're going to Walley World. Debbie Griswold: What? Kevin Griswold: This is some bullshit right here!
Adena: So, what do you feel like doing? James Griswold: Heh. I don't know. Can I give you a rim job? Adena: Whoa... No. What? James Griswold: I don't know. Adena: What's wrong with you? James Griswold: I don't know. I'm sorry. What did you wanna do? Adena: I don't know. I thought maybe we could... kiss or something? James Griswold: Well, yeah, that's what I thought...
Rusty Griswold: It's no big deal. We'll just tell Stone and Audrey what happened. Kids, remember what happened? James Griswold: We pulled over to rescue a baby from a burning car... and somebody stole all of our stuff while we were distracted. Rusty Griswold: And why are we naked and covered in feces? James Griswold: ...I don't remember. James Griswold: That's right. We don't remember.
Colorado Cop: These people are clearly in the state of Colorado. That's my jurisdiction. Arizona Cop: Juris-dick in my ass, Kyle. Look at her left foot. Smack-dab in Arizona. You weed-legalizing, Mile-High piece of shit. Utah Cop: Hey, there's no reason for that language. Arizona Cop: Sorry, Officer Mormon. You don't like that? I have an idea. Why don't you plug up your ears with Mitt Romney's dick?
Kevin Griswold: You have such a vagina. Rusty Griswold: Okay, enough, enough. Now, young man, we talked about the bullying of your older brother. That's right. We don't make fun of someone just because they're different. James Griswold: I don't have a vagina. Rusty Griswold: I'm just saying, if you did it wouldn't be okay for Kevin to tease you about your vagina. James Griswold: Why are you making it sound like I have a vagina? Rusty Griswold: I know you don't have a vagina. I'm not doing that.
Rusty Griswold: I think I know my wife pretty well, and she wouldn't have done any of those things. Debbie Griswold: But you know what? What's important is not whether I did them or I didn't do them. What's important is that you guys are idolizing very bad behavior here. Heather: Uh, ew, you don't sound like Debbie Do-Anything...
Stone Crandall: If you're up for it I can always use an extra set of hands. Rusty Griswold: Well, I was born with an extra set of hands. Stone Crandall: That's an odd thing to say, heh. But I reckon this'll be the highlight of your trip.
Adena: Hey, what happened with that perv who was hitting on you in Arkansas? James Griswold: That was actually my dad. He was trying to be my wingman.
Rusty Griswold: My trip to Walley World when I was a kid was the best time I ever had. Debbie Griswold: So you just wanna redo your vacation from 30 years ago? Don't you think that's gonna be kind of a letdown? Rusty Griswold: No, no, no, no. We're not redoing anything. This will be completely different. For one thing, the original Vacation had a boy and a girl. This one has two boys. And I'm sure that there will be lots of other differences. James Griswold, Rusty Griswold: I've never even heard of the original Vacation. Rusty Griswold: Doesn't matter. The new Vacation will stand on its own. Okay?
Stone Crandall: Hot damn, Debbie Griswold. You just keep gettin' prettier. Debbie Griswold: Oh, stop. Stone Crandall: No, I mean it. You could make hot water come out of the cold faucet.
Rusty Griswold: The four of us are gonna take a little trip. Debbie Griswold: Paris! Rusty Griswold: No. Much better. We're driving - to Walley World. Debbie Griswold: What? Rusty Griswold: This family's in a rut. We gotta shake things up. Right? Spend a little quality time. And of course, it wouldn't hurt for the boys to learn to get along a little better. Debbie Griswold: Uh, by locking them in a car together? Rusty Griswold: Yeah! Kevin Griswold: This is some bullshit right here!
Debbie Griswold: Bring it on. No twit's calling me old. Fuck you. Alright, boobs, pitcher! Let's go. Come on, come on, come on.
Kevin Griswold: God, you told Mom and Dad? You have such a vagina. Rusty Griswold: Okay, enough, enough. Now, young man, we talked about the bullying of your older brother. That's right. We don't make fun of someone just because they're different. James Griswold: I don't have a vagina. Rusty Griswold: I'm just saying, that even if you did it wouldn't be okay for Kevin to tease you about your vagina. James Griswold: No. Why are you making it sound like I have a vagina? Rusty Griswold: Well, I know you don't have a vagina. I'm not doing that.
Kevin Griswold: Hey, James, don't get your gender-fluid on me.
Rusty Griswold: Nobody slam their arm in the door, okay? Kevin Griswold: Can I slam it on James' balls? James Griswold: So you admit I have balls? Kevin Griswold: Yeah, they hang outta your vagina.
Heather: Hi. Would you like to donate to Assburgers?
Debbie Griswold: Oh, my God. He took all our money, Russ. Rusty Griswold: All right. Not a best-case scenario. But, hey! He left your book. So, I guess *we* get the last laugh. Debbie Griswold: Oh, really, honey? We're naked and covered in human waste. Rusty Griswold: Oh, come on, sweetheart. We don't know that it's human.
Rusty Griswold: This is perfect. It's exactly what we needed. Debbie Griswold: Oh, yeah. Good call, Griswold.
James Griswold: There were some kids at school who were talking about - rim jobs. So, what's that? What's a rim job? Rusty Griswold: Rim jobs. Is that R-I-M? James Griswold: Mm-hmm. Rusty Griswold: Rim job. Country of origin? James Griswold: I don't know. America? Rusty Griswold: Can I hear it in a sentence? James Griswold: "What's a rim job, Dad?" Rusty Griswold: Oh, well, rim job. I would guess a rim job is when you kiss someone with your mouth closed. Right? So you're only using the rim of your mouth. James Griswold: That's it? Rusty Griswold: Sure. James Griswold: It - it felt like it was something way dirtier. Rusty Griswold: No, I mean, what else could it be? Any other questions?
Stone Crandall: You boys are growin' faster than a weed under a faucet.
Utah Cop: Hey, we can do this without disrespecting each other's traditions. Colorado Cop: Oh, go fuck your wives, Tommy.
Clark Griswold: What about Walley World? Rusty Griswold: Oh, no. We, uh, we've had enough. This trip's been a nightmare. Clark Griswold: Well, that's what family vacations are. But you can't give up, Russ. Rusty Griswold: Well, why not? I mean, they always say "it's not the destination, it's the journey," right? Clark Griswold: The journey sucks. That's what makes you appreciate the destination.
Clark Griswold: A musician without his instrument is as bad as a shoemaker without a toilet seat.
