Kumail: So... to fully know I love someone, I have to cheat on them? Terry: Out loud, it sounds stupid. Eh, it's... yeah, that's terrible advice.
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Terry: So, uh, 9/11. Terry: No I mean, I've always wanted to have a conversation with Terry: about it. With Terry: people. Kumail: You've never talked to people about 9/11? Terry: No what's your, what's your stance? Kumail: What's my stance on 9/11? Oh um, anti. It was a tragedy, I mean we lost 19 of our best guys. Beth: Huh? Kumail: That was a joke, obviously. 9/11 was a terrible tragedy. And it's not funny to joke about it.
Emily: Listen, I had a really nice time, thank you very much. I'm just going to like, call an Uber, go home and I hope Emily: Just... Kumail: Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants.
Emily: I didn't heckle you, just woo-hoo'd you. It's supportive. Kumail: Okay, that's a common misconception. Yelling anything at a comedian is considered heckling. Heckling doesn't have to be negative. Emily: So, if I... if I yelled out like... *you're amazing in bed*, that'd be a heckle? Kumail: Yeah. It would be an accurate heckle.
Sharmeen: I was so worried. We saw on the news that a train derailed, and we thought that you were on the train, and you had died. Kumail: Nobody died on that train, ma. Sharmeen: But did they look under the train?
Chris: You know, it might be a good thing. Like, she might wake up with a new skill. Like, my cousin, blacked out once, and then, when he came to, he thought he knew a different language. CJ: Did he? Chris: No. Apparently, it was... It was just gibberish that he made up. It was brain damage.
Kumail: He's like if a serial killer fucked an inspirational speaker. CJ: He's like Daniel Day-Lewis except he sucks.
Emily: Were you available for rides while we were fucking? Kumail: Yeah, but I only looked a couple of times.
Terry: Love isn't easy. That's why they call it love. Kumail: I don't really get that either. Terry: I know. I thought I could just start saying something, and something smart would come out.
Kumail: So... to fully know I love someone, I have to cheat on them? Terry: Out loud, it sounds stupid. Eh, it's... yeah, that's terrible advice.
Emily: I feel good about the surgery. Kumail: Yeah. Me, too. These doctors know what they're doing. Emily: No, they don't. They're just winging it like everybody else.
Beth: I think I'll make tea. Beth: Actually, I'll open a bottle of wine. Beth: Actually, does Emily have whisky?
