Petey: Hey Linda, you're a bitch. Robbie: Thanks Petey, go back into the house. He might have Tourette Syndrome. We're looking into it.
出自電影《婚禮歌手》 的經典對白。
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Robbie: All right, remember - alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!
Robbie: Cindy and Scott are newlyweds! Whoopee-dee-doo!
Old Man in Bar: They rip your heart out of your ass!
Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can't let that get away.
Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy, or you're gonna get hurt.
Robbie: Hey, somebody get some pants on this kid!
Robbie: We're living in a material world and I am a material girl... or boy.
Robbie: All right, everybody out on the dance floor! No exceptions! Look at all the happy couples!
Robbie: All right, remember - alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!
Robbie: Cindy and Scott are newlyweds! Whoopee-dee-doo!
Old Man in Bar: They rip your heart out of your ass!
Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can't let that get away.
Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy, or you're gonna get hurt.
Robbie: Hey, somebody get some pants on this kid!
Holly: No one will ever solve that.
Robbie: You're late. Linda: I'm sorry... I just couldn't do it. Robbie: Well, if you need more time, I guess I could wait. Linda: No... I don't need more time, Robbie. I don't ever want to marry you. Robbie: Gee, you know that information... really would've been more useful to me *yesterday.* Linda: I've been talking with my friends the last few days... Robbie: Oh, boy, here it comes. Linda: ...and I think I've figured out what's been bothering me. I'm not in love with Robbie, now. I'm in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth. Robbie: I've still got the Spandex; I'll put 'em on right now. Linda: The point is, I woke up this morning and realized I'm about to get married to a wedding singer? I am never gonna leave Richfield! Robbie: Why do you need to leave Richfield? We grew up here. All our friends are here; it's the perfect place to raise a family. Linda: Oh, yeah - sure! Living in your sister's basement with five kids while you're off every weekends doing wedding gigs at a whoppin' sixty bucks a pop? Robbie: Once again, things that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing. Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don't, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!
Father of the Bride: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy! Robbie: Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.
Julia: May I ask what happened with Linda? Robbie: She wasn't the right one, I guess. Julia: Did you have any idea she wasn't the right one when you were together? Robbie: I should have. Uh, I remember we went to the Grand Canyon one time. We were flying there and I'd never been there before and Linda had, so you would think that she would give me the window seat but she didn't and... not that that's a big deal, you know. It's just there were a lot of little things like that. I know that sounds stupid... Julia: Not at all. I think it's the little things that count.
Rosie: Are you nervous? Robbie: I'm actually not that nervous. I've been around lots of weddings before, so I figure it won't be very different. Rosie: I didn't mean about the wedding. I meant about the wedding night. Will this be your first time with intercourse? Robbie: Uh... Rosie: Well, don't be ashamed. You know, when I got married, I wasn't a virgin. I'd already had intercourse with eight men. Robbie: Now, that's something I didn't wanna know about. Rosie: That was a lot back then; it'd be like two hundred today!
Jimmie Moore: He's losing his mind. Jimmie Moore: And I'm reaping all the benefits.
Billy Idol: How you doing, Sir? Chicken or Fish? Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy. You're gonna get hurt. Billy Idol: Oh, yeah? Large Billy Idol Fan: Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way.
Petey: Hey Linda, you're a bitch. Robbie: Thanks Petey, go back into the house. He might have Tourette Syndrome. We're looking into it.
Julia: Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Julia Guglia. Julia: Julia Guglia. Hi, it's nice to meet you I'm Julia Guglia... Julia: Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Mrs. Robbie Hart. Julia: Robbie and I are so pleased you could come to our wedding...
Robbie: She comes over to tell me how she feels and Linda answers the door, wearing nothing but my Van Halen t-shirt. Billy Idol: No way. Robbie: I don't know what to do. She's getting married, and he's going to ruin her life. Billy Idol: Glenn doesn't deserve her. All he cares about are possessions... fancy cars, CD players. Even women are possessions to him. Robbie: Billy Idol gets it! I don't know why she doesn't get it.
Robbie: Hey, psycho, I'm not gonna feel better about this, it's over. Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. Linda: Oh, okay, so you're still pissed about that wedding thing?
Glenn: Hey, asswipe, don't go snitching to Julia about this. I know you got a little crush on her, but you gotta face the facts: she'd rather go to bed with a REAL man. Not some poor singing orphan. Robbie: All right, shithead. I haven't been in a fight since I was in the fifth grade, but I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Robbie: Hey, what are you doing, man? Old Man in Bar: I'm sorry. I used to be much stronger.
Robbie: Are you drinking, too? Julia: No, it's Coca-Cola. Robbie: Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola? Julia: I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid! Robbie: Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than than kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him.
Robbie: Sleep it off, pal. All right. David 'Dave' Veltri: Hey, you know, wedding singer... Aroooo!
Petey: I made this for you, Uncle Robbie. Robbie: Aw, thanks, Freddy Kruger. Robbie: That's not nice... Very creative, though.
Robbie: Can I borrow your credit card? Sammy: You're gonna pay me back, right? Robbie: No. But if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna tell everyone what you said at the bar.
Robbie: That's it, man, starting right now, me and you are going to be free and happy the rest of our lives! Sammy: I'm not happy. I'm miserable. Robbie: Wha - what? Sammy: See... I grew up idolizing guys like Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino because they got a lot of chicks. You know what happened to Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino? Robbie: Yeah, I read that Fonzie wants to be a director and Barbarino, I think... the mechanical bull movie? I didn't see it yet. Sammy: Their shows got canceled. Because no one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks. Robbie: So what are you saying? Sammy: What I'm saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right. Old man in bar: Everything is going to be all right.
Robbie: Thank you. Jimmie Moore: No, thank you! Robbie: For what? Jimmie Moore: For quitting... or, should I thank Linda? Jimmie Moore: My business has tripled. Julia: Well, you've just inspired me to hire a DJ. So thank you. Jimmie Moore: Well, good luck trying to find a DJ who can move and shake like THIS.
Andy: About time his best friend showed up. Sammy: How is he? Andy: I dunno, man. He just stays down in the basement since it happened... Five days now. I think he might be having some kind of mental situation, or something. Sammy: I'll talk to him. Sammy: Andy: Hey, you better do something. I don't wanna be known as brother-in-law of the town nut job; I got enough problems already. Andy: Andy: Oh, shit, I just got water all over myself.
Robbie: No, I'm not a big drinker. Glenn: Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"? Glenn's buddy: Sounds like a plan. Robbie: Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.
Robbie: How did you know that Glenn was the right one? Julia: The right one, ah... I always just envisioned the right one being someone I could see myself growing old with. Robbie: Yeah. Julia: And... Glenn would *be* a really good-looking older man. Like Blake Carrington. Robbie: I'm gonna probably look like Buddy Hackett.
Sammy: Somebody left a jacket in the back. Robbie: That's Julia's jacket! She took off on Notson Street, remember? She said it wasn't jacket weather anymore. Sammy: Uh-oh... You like her! Robbie: No, I don't. Sammy: Of course you do! She's a cool chick with a hot ass. Robbie: How about this? You talk about her ass again, I'll break your neck.
Sammy: Hey, how do I look? Robbie: I don't know, man. I would lose that glove. You look nuts.
Robbie: That is a luscious ass right there isn't it? Mmm. My God. Glenn: That's Grade A top choice meat! Robbie: I'd like to bite right through that thing, arg! You know, chew on it. Robbie: But we can't get chicks like that anymore. We're too old. Glenn: Speak for yourself. I'm not too old. I can still get chicks like that. Robbie: Not that hot though, right? Glenn: Gotten hotter. Robbie: Ten years ago! Glenn: Try ten *days* ago. Robbie: Really... As hot as that? Glenn: Hotter, and younger. Robbie: How do you do it, man? I mean how do you do it without getting caught? Glenn: Julia's totally preoccupied with the wedding. She doesn't know what's going on. Robbie: Oh man. You know what sucks though? Once you get married, the party's over, right? Glenn: I work in the city, man. And I work long hours.
Robbie: We're living in a material world and I am a material girl... or boy.
