Chip Douglas: Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
出自電影《衰鬼線人》 的經典對白。
更多衰鬼線人的經典對白
Chip Douglas: Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Chip Douglas: This concludes our broadcast day. Click.
Chip Douglas: He who hesitates, masturbates.
Chip Douglas: You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.
Medieval Times host: Quickly, muster atop your steed. Buddy, get on the friggin' horse. I don't think he's kidding.
Steven: I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she asked me to move out.
Chip Douglas: I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.
Chip Douglas: I just wanna hang out. NO BIG DEAL!
Chip Douglas: Come on Stevie, time to leavey, It's the fun bus man!
Chip Douglas: Wake up lil snoozy! Smell the smelling salts!
Chip Douglas: I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.
Chip Douglas: What a place for an ending, huh? It's like that movie 'Goldeneye'!
The Cable Guy: Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.
Chip Douglas: Hey man. It's me again. I was just taking a whizz. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.
Chip Douglas: Chip Douglas: Uh-oh, Steven called the fuzz! "Bad boys, bad boys... whatcha gonna do?"
Chip Douglas: Come back here, so that I may brain thee!
Chip Douglas: You better buckle up. I've had a lot to drink... just kidding. That's my humor!
Steven Kovacs: Dammit. Son of a bitch! The cable's out.
Chip Douglas: By the way, you might want to put on a bathing suit, cause you'll be channel surfing in no time.
Chip Douglas: Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Chip Douglas: He who hesitates, masturbates.
Chip Douglas: You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.
Chip Douglas: This concludes our broadcast day. Click.
Chip Douglas: I just wanna hang out. NO BIG DEAL!
Medieval Times host: Quickly, muster atop your steed. Buddy, get on the friggin' horse. I don't think he's kidding.
Steven: I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she asked me to move out.
Chip Douglas: Come on Stevie, time to leavey, It's the fun bus man!
Chip Douglas: I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.
Chip Douglas: Caaaaaaaable guuuuuuy!
Chip Douglas: Wake up lil snoozy! Smell the smelling salts!
Chip Douglas: I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.
Chip Douglas: What a place for an ending, huh? It's like that movie 'Goldeneye'!
The Cable Guy: I love this game!
The Cable Guy: Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.
Chip Douglas: HI! Is there a problem with your service? Steven Kovacs: Yeah, my cable is out. Chip Douglas: Really? So you call me? Ha, funny how you call when you NEED something. Is that how you treat people?
The Cable Guy: Women are a labyrinth, my friend. Can I be frank? I don't think you listen to her. I think you tell her what she wants to hear. She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is, all the complicated splendor that is women. When your love is truly giving, it will come back to you ten fold. Steven Kovacs: You're right. That's incredibly insightful. The Cable Guy: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.
Steven: You're right. That's incredibly insightful. Chip Douglas: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.
Steven: I have this friend and he gave his cable guy $50 and then he got all the movie channels for free. You ever hear of anything like that? Chip Douglas: You mean illegal cable? Steven: Um... Yeah. Chip Douglas: Who told you that? What is his name? I want it. Steven: Just forget it. Chip Douglas: You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correction facility! Steven: No, please, that was dumb. I was just making conversation. Forget it. Chip Douglas: I'm just jerking your chain! Ha ha ha. The look on your face! Ha ha, you are too easy! Chip Douglas: Wake up, little snoozy. Smell the smelling salts? Ha ha ha. I'll juice ya up.
Chip Douglas: Here is a comment card. Please mail it in when I am done. Steven Kovacs: Does this go to your boss? Chip Douglas: No it goes to me, I'm sort of a perfectionis... perfectionis... t.
Chip Douglas: It was my treat. Steven Kovacs: What do you mean it was your treat? Chip Douglas: You know, I bought this time. You buy next time... Don't let your eggs get cold. Steven Kovacs: Buy what? Chip Douglas: What do you mean 'buy what'? The women. Steven Kovacs: Do... do you mean that Heather is a prostitute? Chip Douglas: Of course she is. You think a woman like that would hang out with us if we weren't paying her?
Rick: Look, Chip Douglas, I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out! Chip Douglas: Well, don't dig too deep or you might get burnt by the molten lava!
Steven Kovacs: Hey, wait, come back! Chip Douglas: Well look who decided to show. Steven Kovacs: You were supposed to be here 4 hours ago. Chip Douglas: Was I? So I'm the tardy one? Steven Kovacs: Yeah, I was gonna go to that bed and bath place and now it's closed. Chip Douglas: Well maybe I shouldn't have come at all, JERK OFF! I'm just jokin' with ya.
Chip Douglas: You better buckle up. I've had a lot to drink... just kidding. That's my humor!
Steven Kovacs: What's going on? Chip Douglas: It appears that we're going to do battle, Steven. Steven Kovacs: Is this a normal part of the show? Chip Douglas: No, but I gave all the knights free cable. They thought it would be cool if we went at it for a while. Steven Kovacs: Is it safe? Chip Douglas: Sure, that's what the armor's for. Come on.
Steven Kovacs: What are you doing? Chip Douglas: I'm just talking trash. Steven Kovacs: You ruined the game. Chip Douglas: I don't appreciate your tone, Steve. Friends aren't supposed to talk to each other that way... Steven Kovacs: What are you talking about? We're not friends. I don't even know you. Chip Douglas: Well let's change that. Let me buy you a Heineken.
Steven Kovacs: Hello? Rick: Bingo! "My Three Sons"! Steven Kovacs: Chip and Ernie Douglas. Rick: I have a list here of every cable installer fired in the last four years. Check out some of these names: Murray Slaughter, George Jetson, Jean Luc Picard, there's even a guy who liked to be called "The Big Ragu". Steven Kovacs: Carmine from "Laverne & Shirley". Rick: That's so sad that you know that. Anyway, the cable company has just fired somebody six months ago named Darrin Stephens. You may remember his boss, Larry Tate, from a little show called "Bewitched". Steven Kovacs: So... He doesn't even work for the cable company. Rick: Yahtzee! They booted his ass for stalking customers. This guy is deeply troubled. If I were you, I'd lock up *tight*.
Chip Douglas: Hey man. It's me again. I was just taking a whizz. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.
Chip Douglas: Come back here, so that I may brain thee!
