Stanley Stupid: Now that's a well-made shoe.
出自電影《笨人一族》 的經典對白。
更多笨人一族的經典對白
Joan Stupid: Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
Stanley: Who is this Sender and what is he doing with other people's mail?
Charles Sender: No time to talk, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
Chinese Waiter #2: It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. We have enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets!
Stanley Stupid: Seems pretty senseless, but whatever!
Stanley Stupid: Now that's a well-made shoe.
Joan Stupid: Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
Charles Sender: No time to talk, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
Chinese Waiter #2: It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. We have enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets!
Late Night Show Host: Give it up to the Fat Guy!
Stanley Stupid: Seems pretty senseless, but whatever!
Stanley: Who is this Sender and what is he doing with other people's mail?
Stanley: Hail to thee, Oh Lord. The Lloyd: Actually, it's pronounced 'Lloyd'. Stanley: All these years we've been saying it wrong.
Stanley Stupid: The car won't start. Buster Stupid: Maybe the battery is dead. Joan Stupid: It was perfectly healthy this morning.
Joan Stupid: Stanley, you must beware of the Drive B. Stanley Stupid: What's a Drive B? Joan Stupid: We don't know, but whatever error you make with it could be fatal. Stanley Stupid: What are you doing, you darn bee? Can't you see I'm trying to drive? Oh, my God! The drive bee!
Stanley's Neighbor: Hey Stanley, I haven't seen you much this weekend. What have you been doing? Stanley Stupid: Oh you know, had breakfast, read the paper, saved the world.
Talk Show Hostess: Have you ever thought that you came from a strange or unusual family? Well, after you meet our guests, you might want to adjust your standards. Talk Show Guest #1: I divorced my wife in order to marry her daughter. Talk Show Guest #2: I married a siamese twin and had an affair with her sister. Talk Show Guest #3: I've been engaged to three of my cousins. Stanley Stupid: I'm, well, to tell you the truth, I'm my own Grandpa. Talk Show Hostess: You're your own Grandpa? Well, for some of us who don't understand this, can you explain? Stanley Stupid: Well, yes. It's quite simple, really. Stanley Stupid: Many many years ago when I was twenty three/ I was married to a widow who was purdy as can be/ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red/ My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed/ Stanley Stupid: This made my dad my son in law and changed my very life/ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife/ To complicate the matters even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy/ Stanley Stupid: This little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad/ And so became my uncle though it made me very sad/ For if he was my uncle than it also makes him brother/ To the widow's grown-up daughter who of course if my stepmother/ Stanley Stupid: My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run/ And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son/ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue/ For although she is my wife she is my grandmother too/ Stanley Stupid: If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild/ And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild/ Talk Show Hostess: has got to be the craziest thing I ever saw Stanley Stupid: As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpa!
Gas Station Attendant: Sir, did you know there's a hole in your gas tank. Stanley Stupid: That's how you get the gas in there.
Joan Stupid: Oh dear I left the garbage out over night. Stanley Stupid: Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again.
Joan Stupid: As your president of Stupidia, I appoint Stanley Stupid head of the army. Joan Stupid: Your first assignment is to go onto that army base and rescue my husband. Buster Stupid: And rescue our dad. Stanley Stupid: I'm afraid those two will have to wait, we've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21.
Policeman: This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself? Evil Sender: With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage. Policeman: The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect! Evil Sender: Yet without it, every Hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless. Desperate men will roam the streets with empty wastebaskets, panic and chaos will rule the land. The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed, and then the world will come begging for mercy... to me. Evil Sender: Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan, including children.
Policeman: Hello, is this Mrs. Stupid? Joan Stupid: Yes. Policeman: We have your children here, Ma'am. Joan Stupid: Oh my God, it's true. The police have kidnapped my children!
Stanley Stupid: I'm stuck, I'm caught, I'm trapped! Somebody help me out here! Petunia Stupid: I'm cornered! Stanley Stupid: That's it, I'm cornered! That's the word I'm looking for.
