Ellen Griswold: I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas, and we're all in misery.
出自電影《瘋狂聖誕假期》 的經典對白。
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Ellen Griswold: I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas, and we're all in misery.
Eddie: Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.
Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
Ellen: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
Eddie: If that thing had nine lives, he just spent 'em all.
Mr. Frank Shirley: Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
Ellen: Clark! I don't want to spend the Holidays dead!
Art: What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?
Margo: Go away Todd. If you want to come in you'll have to break down the goddamn door!
Art: You want to hurry this up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off.
Audrey: I have nightmares about what he does when I'm NOT lying next to him.
Ellen: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.
Clark: Later dudes! Let 'er rip, hang ten!
Clark: Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.
Clark: If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face I ever got, GOD DAMN IT!
Eddie: Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
Clark: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.
Audrey: Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
Clark: I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.
Eddie: If that cat had nine lives, he just spent 'em all.
Uncle Lewis: oh well that was an ugly tree anyway.
Clark Sr.: Now, look, if you need any help... give me a holler. I'll be upstairs, asleep.
Eddie: Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.
Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
Ellen: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
Eddie: If that thing had nine lives, he just spent 'em all.
Mr. Frank Shirley: Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse. Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.
Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark? Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
Eddie: Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. It ain't as strong so I don't know if I should go sailin down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic. Clark: You really think it matters, Eddie?
Mr. Frank Shirley: Remember how I was toying with the idea of suspending the Christmas bonuses? Mrs. Helen Shirley: You *didn't*! Well, of all the cheap lousy ways to save a buck! SWAT Commander: That's pretty low, mister! If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you... Mr. Frank Shirley: I changed my mind. I'm reinstating all the bonuses.
Clark: It's a one year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Eddie: Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
Bethany: Don't throw me down, Clark. Clark: I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany...
Art: The little lights... they aren't twinkling. Clark: I know, Art. Thanks for noticing.
Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down. Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.
Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey. Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis? Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas. Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.
Clark: Hey, Ed, what's wrong with the dog? Eddie: Oh, he's just yakkin' on a bone. Eddie: He's got it up! Clark: Maybe if you wouldn't feed him from the table? Eddie: No. No, he's probably just been nosing through the trash.
Rusty Griswold: Dad, this tree won't fit in our back yard. Clark: It's not going in the yard, Russ. It's going in the living room.
Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you. Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything. Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.
Audrey: Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? Ellen: Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.
Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that. Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind? Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols. Audrey: We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we? Clark: No, I have one of those at home.
Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess. Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah. Clark: How'd you get through it? Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
Clark: Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things. Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas. Art: If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.
Art: You got a kiss for me? Eddie: Better take a rain check on that, Art - he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet...
Eddie: If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin' that hockey player. Clark: What about the kids? Eddie: His kids can fend for themselves.
Margo: Go away Todd. Margo: If you want to come in you'll have to break down the goddamn door!
Mary: Can I show you something? Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. Mary: For your wife, or your girlfriend? Clark: What? What happened? Whoooph! I guess. it wouldn't be any - woah, hehe - wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - *hotter* than they are! Woooh, it *is* warm in here. Mary: Well, you have your coat on. Clark: Yes. Oh, do I? How did that happen? Mary: Because it's cold out? Clark: Yes! Yes. it is. It's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out. Ha ha ha ha ha! What did I say, nipple? Hehe - ahhh, there is a nip in the air, though. Mary: Can I take something out for you?
