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Allan: Option one, make a move on her. Bold, direct. If you're lucky, you hook up, she feels guilty, breaks up with Ben. If you're unlucky, she's furious and ends the friendship. Wallace: So be sleazy? Allan: Yeah. Wallace: And you think that'll work? Allan: No. I think even if she goes for it, she'll resent you for getting her to cheat on Ben. She'll break up with him, but she won't go out with you because you're... Wallace: Sleazy. Allan: Yeah. Option two, be the guy she goes to for advice. The downside is you have to listen to her talk about Ben all the time, the upside is you can slant your advice to slowly turn her against him. Wallace: So be conniving? Allan: Yeah. Wallace: And that'll work? Allan: Maybe, but maybe she'll see through it and think you're... Wallace: Conniving. Allan: Yeah. Option three, patiently wait it out. Eventually either the distance gets to them and they break up, or it doesn't they get married, live a happily life with you always on the outside looking in, quietly pining... indefinity. Wallace: So be pathetic? Allan: Yeah. Wallace: That sounds fun. Allan: Well it's got the advantage of not being particularly unethical, but it's got the disadvantage of being... Wallace: Pathetic. Allan: Yeah. Wallace: So your advice is be sleazy, conniving or pathetic? Allan: Well when you put it that way, it doesn't sound like very good advice.