有些事情還是留在記憶深處比較好
出自電影《命運自選台》 的經典對白。
更多命運自選台的經典對白
有些事情還是留在記憶深處比較好
Sometimes it's better to keep certain memories just in your hands.
News Reader in 2017: Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself is now suing himself for molesting himself.
Michael Newman: I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels... you get acid.
Donna Newman: I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.
Michael Newman: Who wants to have a pillow fight?
Michael Newman: Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.
Morty: Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.
Michael Newman: It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?
Donna Newman: I know it's deviant... but it's kinda turning me on.
Michael Newman: Oh, my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin.
Michael Newman: No problem, sir, there'll be other Junes in my life.
Michael Newman: WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK ONE TIME?
Singing Driver: Everyone's watching, to see what you will do, Everyone's looking at you.
Michael Newman: Twinkie. You don't need e'm. You don't need e'm. You do need a Yodel, though.
News Reader in 2017: Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself is now suing himself for molesting himself.
Donna Newman: I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.
Michael Newman: I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels... you get acid.
Michael Newman: Who wants to have a pillow fight?
Michael Newman: Oh, my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin.
Michael Newman: Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.
Morty: Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.
Michael Newman: It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?
Donna Newman: I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.
Michael Newman: Who wants to have a pillow fight?
Michael Newman: Oh, my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin.
Morty: Consider the leprechaun. Michael Newman: What? Morty: The one in the cereal commercials. Michael Newman: 'They're magically delicious'? Michael Newman: That guy? Morty: He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.
Samantha at 14 Years Old: I'm going to Derek's. Michael Newman: Whoa, whoa, whoa, who is Derek? Samantha at 14 Years Old: Uh, duh, my boyfriend, the hottest boy in school? Michael Newman: Yeah, he's gonna be really hot when I burn his house down.
Michael Newman: Can I help you? Ben Newman - at 17 Years Old: Hey Dad. Michael Newman: Hey Dad? Ben? Look how big you got! You're enormous! Ben Newman - at 17 Years Old: Look who's talking, Captain Twinkie of the SS Fat Ass! Really good for my self esteem! Maybe if you took me to Pilates like you said you would, people wouldn't think I was Rosie O'Donnell! Michael Newman: Come on Ben, I love you! Bring me back the Twinkies!
Michael Newman: Sorry I'm late. Some idiot in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot. Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo drive Red Lamborghini. Michael Newman: Oh, did I say red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
Kevin O'Doyle: What kind of stereo do you have in that blue piece of shit? Michael Newman: You know, I never check, Kevin. Kevin O'Doyle: Yeah, well my father's stereo is a Bose. Michael Newman: Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad! Kevin O'Doyle: No! I said... That's not what I said! Michael Newman: His father stereo blows! Wheee!
Michael Newman: I mean no disrespect, Prince Hubbida Hubbida. Ammer: Hubba Bubba. Prince Habeeboo: Habeeboo! Ha-bee-boo! Hubba Bubba is chewing gum. Prince Habeeboo is not chewing gum!
Michael Newman: Samantha. One day, you are going to be the hottest chick in the world, but you still gotta have brains. So tomorrow, I'm going to teach you Calculus. Samantha Newman - Age 5: You know Calculus? Michael Newman: Uh, I knew you'd call me on that, alright, your mother will teach you.
Michael Newman: You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that. Michael Newman: You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain. Michael Newman: Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr! Michael Newman: Oh, there's Barney. Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, that jogger had giant boobies.
Janine: Oh, my God. I want that so bad. A husband that I can kiss and love and give juice too. Michael Newman: You've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers. I think you've given enough juice to everybody. Love juice. Janine: You know way too much about me. I should've never done that Montel Williams show. Michael Newman: Even Montel Williams thinks you're crazy and he's seen a lot of shit. Janine: I was desperate for companionship! All of my husbands... All of them have emotionally abandoned me. Michael Newman: They went to work. You had sex with their unemployed brothers. You're a horndog.
Ted: Benjamin, what do I have in my hand? Trudy: A quarter. Ted: Now, Grandma doesn't let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes. Trudy: True. Ted: But she says nothing about a tasty quarter. Ted: Alright, please, very quickly, count to 3, it tastes terrible. One... Ted, Trudy, Ben at 7-Years-Old, Donna Newman: Two, three. Trudy: Ahh! Ben at 7-Years-Old: Are you shitting me? Trudy: First he's eating like his father and now you're talking like him? Donna Newman: Ben! Trudy: Don't you EVER say that again! Ben at 7-Years-Old: Sorry, Grandma. Samantha Newman - Age 5: HOW did you do that, Grandpa? Ted: A good magician NEVER reveals his secrets, your daddy's been wanting to know how I did it since he was your age.
Ben Newman - Age 22-30: Hi, Dad. Sorry to bother you. Would you mind looking at my shopping mall design again? This one is cheaper, but... If you check this out, you'll see it has much better natural flow... Michael Newman: Cheaper one, like I said. Just, let me do my e-mail. Ben Newman - Age 22-30: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Er... Michael Newman: He ain't right. You are a schmark, look at it! Ted: Surprise! Ben Newman - Age 22-30: Hey, grandpa! Michael Newman: Oh, my God... Ted: How did you get so handsome? Ted: So, Michael. I have a wonderful idea. Your mother is going to play canasta with her friends tonight, so I thought: "What a great opportunity". You, me and Ben should go and have a boys night out. Michael Newman: I can't. Ted: What do you mean you can't? You have to weak some time. We can go, we can whistle the pretty ladies. Ben Newman - Age 22-30: I'm down for that. Ted: See? He's down. I don't know what that means but he's down. Michael Newman: Hey, please. Ted: Don't give me that finger. Ted: I'll make you a deal. If you come, I'll show you the quarter trick. Michael Newman: Will you look at the man? Ted: I'll tell you the secret. Michael Newman: No, Dad. Ted: Don't you wanna know...? Michael Newman: ...how you do the stupid trick? I've always known. Can you let me do my job? Ted: You've always known... Michael Newman: You're pathetic. Ted: Okay... I'm so sorry I butched in. I love you son. Ben Newman - Age 22-30: Don't you worry, grandpa. I'll go with you. Michael Newman: I love you dad. Michael Newman: I'll miss ya... You know that... Good-bye.
Michael Newman: Aunt Peggy, is that you? God, you got old. Michael Newman: I'm just playing, she knows that.
Donna Newman: That's not bad for your third liposuction. One more tummy tuck should take care of it. Michael Newman: Oh, it looks like a tongue... licking.
Michael Newman: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that. Trudy: It couldn't have gotten any smaller. Ted: It looked like a little Tic Tac. Michael Newman: Yeah, come here. I'll freshen your breath.
Michael Newman: I promise, I'm not going to work tonight, I'm going to stay home with you, and we're going to watch Dragon Tales. Ben at 7-Years-Old: Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad. Samantha Newman - Age 5: Yeah, let's go watch CSI. Ben at 7-Years-Old: Yeah! CSI! Samantha Newman - Age 5: It's the one where they find the lady's arm. Michael Newman: I missed the whole Dragon Tales era?
Michael Newman: You've gotta show me how you do the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy! Ted: A good magician never reveals his secrets... however, if you invite us over for dinner more often... Michael Newman: You can come over tomorrow night and the next night and the next night and whenever you want!
Morty: Yes? Michael Newman: You scared the...! Donna Newman: Honey, what's going on down there? Michael Newman: It's alright! I, uh... Michael Newman: It was a mouse! I killed it! It's dead! But... Michael Newman: It broke the table first. Michael Newman: How'd you get in here? Morty: I had a feeling you wanted to see me. Michael Newman: I'm freakin' out. This thing - this thing - it's broken. It-it's just - it's fast forwarding on its own now. Morty: It's not a malfunction it's a feature. It's using it's memory to execute your preferences. Michael Newman: It *remember's* stuff about me? What do you mean? Morty: It's an advance piece of equipment like TiVo. Morty: You could call it MeVo. Michael Newman: I fast forwarded through sex one time. I don't wanna skip it forever; I like sex. I-um-i-it-it feels good. Morty: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you fast forwarded through an entire *year*. That's a lot of sex. Put it all together, it's like... thirty minute's worth for you. Michael Newman: Oh, no, no. So what? Everything I fast forwarded it-it's just gonna do it on its own now? Morty: Pretty much. No more showering. No more traffic. No more arguing. No more sickness. Michael Newman: This is bad. This is bad. Here, you take it back. Michael Newman: I'm deactivating my service. I quit, I quit, I quit. Morty: No, come on. Michael Newman: No, no, no. Thanks for everything, alright? But I - Michael Newman: You... this is not... Morty: Come on, don't be mean. Morty: Nice hat. Morty: Whoa! Is this a *stick-up*, or are you just happy? Michael Newman: Oh, yeah? I'll take my clothes off. Then what's - ? Morty: I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's only one place left for it to pop up.
Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology that we have in this place. Michael Newman: Sounds sweet. Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet. Michael Newman: Ooh. I guess the O'Doyles' remote can kiss my advanced-technological ass then. Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles, but... they can bite it hard.
Trudy: Uh uh uh, no cupcakes yet! Michael at 10 Years Old: But I'm starving! Ted: I know exactly how you feel, Michael, I'm so hungry, I could eat this quarter! Michael Newman: Ah, so THIS is where the quarter trick started. Morty: How did he do that? Michael Newman: It's a trick coin you buy in a magic shop, I just couldn't ever let him know I knew that.
Michael Newman: You sell any universal remotes here? Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: For a shower curtain or a rug? Michael Newman: For a TV. Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: Hm, I don't think so, how about a blanket? Michael Newman: You have a remote control for a blanket? Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: Sorry dude, I don't really work here, I'm just waiting for my friends. Michael Newman: You're kidding. Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: Uh actually yes, I don't have any friends, will you be my friend?
Michael Newman: Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project? Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.
Morty: Check it out. You hit the fast-forward button. I believe we're sometime after your conception. Michael Newman: No! We're in my mother's vagina?
