Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of indeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of indeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat's a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat's neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality.
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Pat Riley: Howdy, Tippy! Tippy: Oh... oh Pat... what do you want? Pat Riley: Well I just thought I'd stop by and pick up a few personal items. Tippy: Oh no no no, please, remember? No, I don't want to know anything about your... your sex life, okay? Pat Riley: I just want to get a few toiletries. Uh, first of all, I need some protection... Tippy: Oh dear God, okay, all right. Pat Riley: ...from underarm wetness. I'm never one to offend! Tippy: 2.50 then, all right, and you're out... Pat Riley: What am I, in a race? Whoa! Tippy: Well, kind of, uh... Pat Riley: And I need a lubricant... Tippy: What? Pat Riley: ...for my eyes. They're drying up due to the pollen and dust in the air. Tippy: Oh great, help me, somebody please help me! Pat Riley: And I need some feminine napkins... Tippy: Oh, I'm in hell... I am in hell now! Pat Riley: You never know when Aunt Wilma's gonna stop by for lunch!
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