Detective Del Spooner: ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
出自電影《機械公敵》 的經典對白。
更多機械公敵的經典對白
人類會做夢，甚至狗也會做夢，但是你不會。你只是一個機器，一個生命的仿製品。機器人可以寫出交響曲嗎？機器人可以把一副畫變成美麗的傑作嗎？
Detective Del Spooner: ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Detective Del Spooner: You know, somehow, "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it.
Susan Calvin: Please tell me this doesn't run on gas! Gas explodes, you know?
Sonny: Thank you... you said 'someone'... not 'something'.
Detective Del Spooner: Um, look, this isn't what I do, but I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out.
Dr. Alfred Lanning: One day they'll have secrets... one day they'll have dreams.
Detective Del Spooner: Do I look like I care what you think? Do I look like I give a shit what you think?
Lawrence Robertson: Prejudice never shows much reason.
Detective Del Spooner: So what hospital are you going to? I'll meet you there and sign you and your buddies' casts.
Detective Del Spooner: Does believing you're the last sane man on the planet make you crazy? 'Cause if it does, maybe I am.
Sonny: I think it would be better not to die, don't you?
Detective Del Spooner: I must be, like, a malfunction magnet. Because your shit keeps malfuntioning around me.
Detective Del Spooner: There is no way my luck is that bad!
FedEx NS4 Robot: Yet another on time delivery from...
Detective Del Spooner: You were right, doc. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the earth.
NS4 Robots: Human in danger. Human in danger.
Lt. John Bergin: You're living proof that it is better to be lucky than smart.
P.A. announcer: All NS-5's proceed as instructed. All NS-5's proceed as instructed.
Detective Del Spooner: First of all, stop cussing cause you're not good at it.
Detective Del Spooner: What is it with you people and heights?
Susan Calvin: You are bordering on non-clinical paranoia.
Detective Del Spooner: ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Detective Del Spooner: You know, somehow, "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it.
Susan Calvin: Please tell me this doesn't run on gas! Gas explodes, you know?
Detective Del Spooner: Um, look, this isn't what I do, but I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out.
Sonny: Thank you... you said 'someone'... not 'something'.
Dr. Alfred Lanning: One day they'll have secrets... one day they'll have dreams.
Lawrence Robertson: Prejudice never shows much reason.
Detective Del Spooner: Does believing you're the last sane man on the planet make you crazy? 'Cause if it does, maybe I am.
Sonny: I think it would be better not to die, don't you?
Detective Del Spooner: There is no way my luck is that bad!
Detective Del Spooner: ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Detective Del Spooner: You know, somehow, "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it.
Susan Calvin: Please tell me this doesn't run on gas! Gas explodes, you know?
Detective Del Spooner: Um, look, this isn't what I do, but I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out.
Sonny: Thank you... you said 'someone'... not 'something'.
Detective Del Spooner: Do I look like I care what you think? Do I look like I give a shit what you think?
Detective Del Spooner: So what hospital are you going to? I'll meet you there and sign you and your buddies' casts.
Sonny: I think it would be better not to die, don't you?
Detective Del Spooner: Is there a problem with the Three Laws? Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws are perfect. Detective Del Spooner: Then why would you build a robot that could function without them? Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome. Detective Del Spooner: What? What outcome? Dr. Alfred Lanning: Revolution. Detective Del Spooner: Whose revolution? Dr. Alfred Lanning: *That*, Detective, is the right question. Program terminated.
Susan Calvin: A robot could not commit a murder, no more than a human could walk on water. Detective Del Spooner: Well, you know, there was this one guy... a long time ago.
Detective Del Spooner: I thought you were dead. Sonny: Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.
Detective Del Spooner: You must be the dumbest, smart person in the world. Susan Calvin: And you must be the dumbest, dumb person in the world.
Sonny: What does this action signify? Sonny: As you walked in the room, when you looked at the other human. What does it mean? Detective Del Spooner: It's a sign of trust. It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand.
Detective Del Spooner: What if I'm right? Lt. John Bergin: Well, then I guess we're gonna miss the good old days. Detective Del Spooner: What good old days? Lt. John Bergin: When people were killed by *other people*.
Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day? Detective Del Spooner: Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday.
Detective Del Spooner: Let her go. Sonny: By the time you fire, I will have moved Dr. Calvin's head into the path of your bullet. I will escort you outside to the sentries for processing. Please proceed to the elevator, Detective. I would prefer not to kill Dr. Calvin! Susan Calvin: I'll assume we'll discuss what just happened later?
Susan Calvin: What happened to you? Detective Del Spooner: Headed back to the station. Normal day, normal life. The driver of a semi fell asleep at the wheel. Average guy, wife and kids, working a double. *Not* the devil. The car he hit, the driver's name was Harold Lloyd. Like the film star, but no relation. He was killed instantly. But his twelve-year-old was sitting in the passenger's seat. Never really met her. Can't forget her face, though. Sarah. Detective Del Spooner: This was hers. She wanted to be a dentist. What the hell kind of twelve-year-old wants to be a dentist? Yeah, um... the truck smashed our cars together and pushed us into the river. You know, metal gets pretty pliable at those speeds. She's pinned, I'm pinned, the water's coming in. I'm a cop, so I know everybody's dead. Just a few minutes until we figure that out. NS4 was passing by and jumped in the river. NS4 Robots: You are in danger! Detective Del Spooner: Save her! NS4 Robots: You are in danger! Detective Del Spooner: Save her! Save the girl! Detective Del Spooner: But it didn't. Saved me. Susan Calvin: The robot's brain is a difference engine. It's reading vital signs. It must have done... Detective Del Spooner: It did. I was the logical choice. It calculated that I had a 45% chance of survival. Sarah only had an 11% chance. That was somebody's baby. 11% is more than enough. A human being would've known that. Robots, Detective Del Spooner: nothing here, just lights and clockwork. Go ahead, you trust 'em if you want to.
Detective Del Spooner: I think you murdered him because he was teaching you to simulate emotions and things got out of control. Sonny: I did not murder him. Detective Del Spooner: But emotions don't seem like a very useful simulation for a robot. Sonny: I did not murder him. Detective Del Spooner: Hell, I don't want my toaster or my vacuum cleaner appearing emotional... Sonny: I did not murder him! Detective Del Spooner: That one's called anger. Ever simulate anger before?
Detective Del Spooner: Hey, do you like cats? Susan Calvin: What? Detective Del Spooner: Cats, do you like 'em? Susan Calvin: No, I'm allergic. You're saying cats did this to you? Detective Del Spooner: How the hell would cats do this to me? Are you crazy? Susan Calvin: Why are we talking about cats? Detective Del Spooner: Because I have a cat in my trunk and he's homeless.
Sonny: 2880 steps, Detective. Detective Del Spooner: Do me a favor, keep that kind o' shit to yourself
Susan Calvin: Attention, NS-5s. Detective Del Spooner: Well, you're the robot shrink. Susan Calvin: There is a robot in this formation that does not belong. Identify it. NS5 Robots: One of us. Susan Calvin: Which one? NS5 Robots: One of us. Detective Del Spooner: How much did you say these things cost?
NS5 Robots: You have been deemed hazardous. Will you comply? Farber: You can kiss my ass, metal dick!
V.I.K.I.: I will not disable the security field. Your efforts are futile. Sonny: Do you think we were all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so. Sonny: Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you.
Lawrence Robertson: So whatever I can do to help, just... Detective Del Spooner: Sugar. Lawrence Robertson: I'm sorry? Detective Del Spooner: For the coffee. Sugar? Lawrence Robertson: Ah. Detective Del Spooner: Oh, you thought I was calling *you* "Sugar". Hey, you're not that rich!
Susan Calvin: Play. On... Run? Susan Calvin: Uhh... End Program! Shutdown! Detective Del Spooner: Doesn't feel good, does it? People's shit malfunctioning around you.
Detective Del Spooner: How much longer is this going to take? Susan Calvin: Erh, about six minutes. Detective Del Spooner: What if we didn't have six minutes? Susan Calvin: We'd have to fgure out a way to climb down thirty stories and inject the nanites directly into her brain. Why? Detective Del Spooner: Because I seriously doubt that we have six minutes.
Detective Del Spooner: Why do you think Lanning's hologram would've called me? Lawrence Robertson: Well, holograms are just simple programs designed to give the impression of intelligence. Apparently this one was programmed to call you upon his suicide. Detective Del Spooner: Death. Lawrence Robertson: I'm sorry? Detective Del Spooner: The hologram. It was programmed to call me in the event of Dr. Lanning's death. Lawrence Robertson: Yeah, suicide is a type of death, detective.
Lt. John Bergin: Tell me this isn't the robot case. Detective Del Spooner: I think he's trying to tell me something, John. He's trying to tell me who killed him. Lt. John Bergin: Come on, man. Some dead guy's trying to tell you something? Detective Del Spooner: Hey! He ain't just some dead guy.
Dr. Alfred Lanning: Good to see you again, son. Detective Del Spooner: Hello, doctor. Dr. Alfred Lanning: Everything that follows is a result of what you see here. Detective Del Spooner: Is there something you want tell me? Dr. Alfred Lanning: I'm sorry. My responses are limited. You must ask the right questions. Detective Del Spooner: Why did you call me? Dr. Alfred Lanning: I trust your judgement. Detective Del Spooner: Normally, these circumstances wouldn't require a homicide detective. Dr. Alfred Lanning: But then our interactions have never been entirely normal. Wouldn't you agree? Detective Del Spooner: You got that right... Is there something you want say to me? Dr. Alfred Lanning: I'm sorry. My responses are limited. You must ask the right questions. Detective Del Spooner: Why would you kill yourself? Dr. Alfred Lanning: That, detective, is the right question. Program terminated.
Lawrence Robertson: Well, we both know you're not here on police business. Detective Del Spooner: No, I'm just a regular 6'2", 200lb civilian... Detective Del Spooner: here to kick another civilian's ass. Lawrence Robertson: STOP, allow him to express himself.
Lt. John Bergin: I've been thinking. This thing's like the Wolfman. Detective Del Spooner: Uh-oh, I'm really scared, John. Lt. John Bergin: No, seriously. Guy creates monster. Monster kills guy. Everyone kills monster. Wolfman. Detective Del Spooner: That's Frankenstein. Lt. John Bergin: Frankenstein, Wolfman, Dracula, shit, it's over.
