James Brennan: Who's Lisa P? Joel: That's Lisa P. Joel: Oh my God, look at the shape of her ass. It's a platonic ideal. That ass is a higher truth. Look, look at that little portal of light, just below her crotch, right where the thigh meets the pudendum. James Brennan: The pudendum? Are you pre-med? Joel: I'm telling you, man, I've had dreams about that diamond-shape portal. Joel: Oh shit, she's coming over here, man. Be cool. James Brennan: Okay, I'll try to hold it together.
出自電影《菜鳥新人王》 的經典對白。
更多菜鳥新人王的經典對白
Joel: We pay little Malaysian kids 10 cents a day to make these toys, we can't just *give* them away.
James Brennan: My theory is you can't just avoid everybody you screw up with. You can trust me on that because I'm a New Yorker.
Em Lewin: Well, you know, my dad's a lawyer. It's been his life-long dream for his daughter to work at Adventureland.
Em Lewin: Can you stop saying "intercourse"?
Tommy Frigo: BONER! You got a boner! Brennan's got a boner!
Mike Connell: Hey, James... you still have anymore of those baby joints?
Joel: A little more than 40% of these fish are dead.
Bobby: Hey, litterbug! In the clown mouth!
Tommy Frigo: So we can drink your parent's booze? It's okay?
Joel: We pay little Malaysian kids 10 cents a day to make these toys, we can't just *give* them away.
James Brennan: My theory is you can't just avoid everybody you screw up with. You can trust me on that because I'm a New Yorker.
Em Lewin: Well, you know, my dad's a lawyer. It's been his life-long dream for his daughter to work at Adventureland.
Joel: That was a whole corndog!
Em Lewin: Can you stop saying "intercourse"?
Tommy Frigo: BONER! You got a boner! Brennan's got a boner!
Mike Connell: Hey, James... you still have anymore of those baby joints?
Joel: A little more than 40% of these fish are dead.
Bobby: Hey, litterbug! In the clown mouth!
Sue O'Malley: What are you majoring in? Joel: Russian literature and Slavic languages. Sue O'Malley: Oh wow, that's pretty interesting. What career track is that? Joel: Cabby, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster.
James Brennan: I think somebody was trying to write "Satan Lives" on that wall but they spelled it "Satin Lives". Em Lewin: One of those textile worshiping cults no doubt.
James Brennan: Who's Lisa P? Joel: That's Lisa P. Joel: Oh my God, look at the shape of her ass. It's a platonic ideal. That ass is a higher truth. Look, look at that little portal of light, just below her crotch, right where the thigh meets the pudendum. James Brennan: The pudendum? Are you pre-med? Joel: I'm telling you, man, I've had dreams about that diamond-shape portal. Joel: Oh shit, she's coming over here, man. Be cool. James Brennan: Okay, I'll try to hold it together.
Sue O'Malley: He told my parents. We're Catholic. He told my parents that you're Jewish. Joel: Oh, but I'm an atheist, maybe more of a pragmatic nihilist I guess or an existential pagan if you will... Sue O'Malley: Yeah, yeah um, but my parents are really strict. Sorry.
Tommy Frigo: They got you working on Games? What a pussy. You're such a pussy! Joel: Do you know that demented person? James Brennan: Yeah, he used to be my best friend. And then I turned four.
James Brennan: Frigo, get the fuck out of here, and you can't tell anybody about this, okay? Tommy Frigo: All right, all right, relax, Brennan. What's it worth to you? James Brennan: You're shaking me down? Tommy Frigo: No... Yeah, yeah. James Brennan: I hate you with such great fervor.
James Brennan: Jesus Fucking Christ! They play this song like 20 times a day! Joel: Fucking sadists. Fucking sadists!
James Brennan: I am amazed at how tiny my paycheck is. I've been working doubles. Joel: Well, we are doing the work of pathetic, lazy morons.
Em Lewin: So you're going to Columbia? James Brennan: No. No, maybe next year. Em Lewin: Why? James Brennan: I wrecked my dad's car and I lost all my carny money. Em Lewin: So what's the plan? James Brennan: I'm gonna crash at the Y for a week, I'm gonna look for a shitty job, and I don't know. Em Lewin: Hey, give me your shirt. Em Lewin: I'll get you another shirt. James Brennan: Thanks. James Brennan: Hey, Em. I really missed you. Em Lewin: You wanna wear this? James Brennan: No! No, I never wanna see that again. Why do you have that? Why do you have that stupid shirt?
James Brennan: Hi. Look, I don't know what to say, but everyone is talking about Em and Connell. Lisa P.: Kelly's got such a big F-ing mouth. I'm sorry because I gave you my word. We were just so wasted that night. You know I can't hide nothing from Kell. Are you mad at me? James Brennan: Well, yeah. Connell's gonna freak out, and Em quit. Lisa P.: I feel bad for Connell. I have a hard time feeling sorry for Em. Guys can't help themselves. James Brennan: But he's the married one. Lisa P.: Yeah, Em's a frigging home wrecker. James Brennan: He's cheating on his wife, though. Lisa P.: I can't believe you're defending her. James Brennan: What? Because guys can be shitty and women can't?
Em Lewin: I thought you were off today. James Brennan: I need to tell you something. Last week I went on a date with Lisa P. She asked me out. It was nothing. We kissed a little bit at the end of the date and I felt her breast a little bit, but nothing else. Em Lewin: Right. No intercourse? James Brennan: No. No intercourse. Look, I'm sorry. It's just you and I never talked about being exclusive. I don't want to see her again, okay? You're the one I. James Brennan: Look, we'll both be in New York soon and I want to hang out with you. I want to get to know you better if you want to get to know me better as well. Em Lewin: James, you don't owe me anything. James Brennan: I know, but, I want to owe you things. I'm ready to owe you things, okay? Because I really, really care about you. Are you mad at me? Because I'm sorry. Em Lewin: No. No, I'm not mad at you. Thanks for telling me. That was, like, really sweet.
Joel: Two options: I can play it safe, pick them off from back here, or I can rush into the breach guns a blazing, make a run to the cortex and... bombs away! Joel: "Audentes Fortunas Juvat", Fortune Favors the Bold. Virgil said that. Em Lewin: I'm sure Virgil had Bionic Mutant in mind.
Park customer: I hit that thing dead on! Joel: Yet he still retains his chapeau.
Em Lewin: I can't believe my dad wants to be with that. Em Lewin: Do you want to hear something fucked up? James Brennan: What? Em Lewin: When my mom first started getting, like, really sick my dad starts going to temple. He's never been serious about his faith. But he decided to buddy up to God like he thought it was going to help save my mom. And that's where he met Francy. Em Lewin: My mom loses her hair in chemo and my dad starts fucking a bald woman. It's just weird.
Guest: This faggot's trying to rip off a kid! Why don't you give the kid a fucking panda. Em Lewin: Here you go! Here's your panda. Guest: Yeah thanks. Here you go, Dom. I mean, he's just a little kid. James Brennan: Look, am I gonna get in trouble? No one's ever supposed to lose a giant-ass panda. Em Lewin: Is it worth getting knifed over? James Brennan: No. Hi, I'm James Brennan. I just started. Em Lewin: Em, nice to meet you. Sucks you're gonna lose your job your second day, James. James Brennan: No. Shit! I need this job. Em Lewin: I'm kidding. Em Lewin: You're okay. I'll tell Bobby you lost the panda at knife point.
Tommy Frigo: Let's go, panty stain! James Brennan: Panty stain, that's me. Good night everybody.
Francy: So, it was a lovely party at the Melnick's and, you know, their daughter Lori is lovely. She said you two used to be best friends. Em Lewin: She used to sleep over in, like, junior high. Francy: Did you know that she is at law school at Northwestern? Em Lewin: Lori Melnick. She once violated our cat Gypsy with a ball point pen! Francy: Alright, Emily! That is enough, young lady.
James Brennan: Hey, I feel like I should tell you. Em Lewin: Tell me what? James Brennan: I had my heart broken recently. James Brennan: Is that... I don't know, I just thought I should tell you. Em Lewin: That sucks. James Brennan: Yeah. Em Lewin: Who broke your heart? James Brennan: A girl at school. Yeah, it's typical. I actually, I think there was something there. I think we actually had, like, potential. I don't know. I think she was afraid. Em Lewin: Afraid of what? James Brennan: I don't know. Afraid of it being good or something.
Rich: I saw Em and Connell in his car. Tommy Frigo: What were they doing in the car, Rich? Rich: They were doing push-ups in his car. They didn't have any pants on. Tommy Frigo: No pants. Naked push ups, retard, for fucking! James, they were fucking! James Brennan: Frigo, Frigo shut up. When did you see this, Rich? Rich: Like, a while ago. A while ago. Tommy Frigo: It was just a couple weeks ago. Right, Rich?
Joel: So your life must be utter shit, or you wouldn't be here. James Brennan: I was supposed to go to Europe, but my family has money problems.
Tommy Frigo: James, don't get all drunk and fall asleep or anything. James Brennan: Why not? Tommy Frigo: Because I'll jack off on your face.
