這就是我不與人親近的原因，很容易受傷害。
出自電影《屍樂園》 的經典對白。
更多屍樂園的經典對白
這就是我不與人親近的原因，很容易受傷害。
Tallahassee: Time to nut up or shut up!
Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.
Columbus: You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
Tallahassee: Finally got to first base. Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.
Columbus: When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with".
Columbus: You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.
Tallahassee: Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
Columbus: It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.
Little Rock: Yes! But no she's not, she's not. She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana. When she's wearing the wig. So...
Columbus: Oh, this is so exciting, you're about to learn who you're gonna call... it's Ghostbusters.
Tallahassee: Here's the deal: I'm not easy to get along with, and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.
Columbus: You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife.
Tallahassee: You can do anything you want to a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac!
Tallahassee: What do you think? "Zombie Kill of the Week"?
Tallahassee: Have you ever read that book "She's Just Not That Into You"?
Tallahassee: Hey, a little help with movin' the couch. We're makin' a fort.
Tallahassee: ...The day he was born I just lost my mind.
Tallahassee: Come on! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee's nice this time of year!
Columbus: Hey, this may be a bad time, but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
Columbus: Yeah, I shave every morning but sometimes by like 4: 30 I'll have a thing. I mean, I know it's called a five o'clock shadow but sometimes I'll get it prematurely.
Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig. Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.
Tallahassee: Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno Balls? Where's the fucking Twinkies? Columbus: I love Sno-Balls. Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency. Columbus: Fresh. Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.
Tallahassee: They're in the back, aren't they? Little Rock: Just me. Columbus: I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger... Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a 12 year old? Columbus: Well, girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age. Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please. Tallahassee: Like you would ever use that thing Tallahassee: Don't kill me with my own gun.
Columbus: 1997. Was that a good year? Wichita: Yeah! 1997 was a great year! I saw my first R-rated movie... Anaconda. Got my first tattoo, a porpoise. Fake. Had my first kiss... Scotty Lynch. Columbus: Did you guys... Columbus: ...use tongue? Wichita: Maybe. Why, are you jealous of Scotty Lynch? Columbus: Yes. Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997. Let me see... I think... 1997 I had my first orthodontist appointment... bastard gave me headgear... I got my first B... Columbus: ...almost as scary as Anaconda... went to my first dance. Sadie Hawkins, so it was ladies' choice... Wichita: And nobody picked you? Columbus: Well, it was ladies' choice. Wichita: ... No! Those bitches! No, I will not stand for this. Wichita: On behalf of all the eighth grade girls, I would like to dance with you. Wichita: Don't worry. Scotty's old news.
Tallahassee: Are you fucking with me? Columbus: Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we're going down that hill. It is very important. Tallahassee: I don't believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?
Columbus: Take away a man's son, you've truly given him nothing left to lose. Tallahassee: I haven't cried like that since "Titanic."
Tallahassee: You're thinking about fucking Wichita! Tallahassee: Hey, wish granted. She's spent the last twenty-four hours fucking us both.
Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there. Columbus: The amusement park? Little Rock: Yep! Tallahassee: That place totally blows! Tallahassee: ... my mind. Just fun for the whole family.
Columbus: You know there's a place untouched by all this crap? Tallahassee: Back east, yeah? Columbus: Yeah. Yeah. You heard the same thing? Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense. You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year. Columbus: There are no penguins on the North Pole. Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
Little Rock: No Twinkies. Tallahassee: Shit! fuck! Wichita: See, I told you we should have gone to Russell Crowe's! No one listens to me!
Columbus: Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else's story? Tallahassee: No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.
Wichita: Let's play the quiet game. Columbus: I've actually been meaning to ask you, have you been to Columbus, because I've been trying to... Wichita: Have you never played the quiet game?
Wichita: You know between you, me and "What About Bob?"... You're actually kinda cute. Columbus: You think so? Wichita: Yeah. I mean you got the guts of a guppy but I could hit that. Columbus: Really? Wichita: Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.
Wichita: Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday. Who cares? Tallahassee: The best thing is no more flushing. Epic.
