Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything.
出自電影《聖誕快樂又瘋狂》 的經典對白。
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Charlie: Seeing isn't believing; believing is seeing.
Scott Calvin: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! And when I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!
Little Elf Judy: Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
Bernard: Nice sweater. Hey, did we make this?
E.L.F.S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.
Scott Calvin: The only thing you need to worry about is where you're going to buy your sweaters after the circus pulls out of town.
Mr. Whittle: I don't know what's happening to you. You're starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Scott Calvin: Not necessarily. It could be rude, sarcastic, whatever it takes!
E.L.F.S. Leader: Tinsel. Not just for decoration.
Scott Calvin: If something should happen to me, put on my suit; the reindeer will know what to do.
Little Elf Judy: Not too hot. *Extra* chocolate. Shaken, not stirred.
Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything.
Bernard: Geez this bird is dry. Haven't you people ever heard about basting?
Scott Calvin: Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Scott Calvin: So, uh, we just go straight down this road and we'll hit I-94?
Scott Calvin: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! And when I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!
Little Elf Judy: Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
Bernard: Nice sweater. Hey, did we make this?
E.L.F.S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.
Scott Calvin: The only thing you need to worry about is where you're going to buy your sweaters after the circus pulls out of town.
Mr. Whittle: I don't know what's happening to you. You're starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Scott Calvin: Not necessarily. It could be rude, sarcastic, whatever it takes!
E.L.F.S. Leader: Tinsel. Not just for decoration.
Scott Calvin: If something should happen to me, put on my suit; the reindeer will know what to do.
Little Elf Judy: Not too hot. *Extra* chocolate. Shaken, not stirred.
Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything.
Scott Calvin: You know, you look pretty good for your age. Little Elf Judy: Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping.
Dr. Neil Miller: Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did before you went to bed Christmas Eve? Scott Calvin: We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liquor, played with my shotguns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women... Scott Calvin: I read him a book! Dr. Neil Miller: What book? Scott Calvin: Uh, "Hollywood Wives". Scott Calvin: "The Night Before Christmas", folks, come on!
Neil: What about Santa's reindeer? Have you ever seen a reindeer fly? Charlie: Yes. Neil: Well, I haven't. Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars? Neil: No. Charlie: Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Charlie: Whoa, Dad! You're flying! Scott Calvin: It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s.
Sarah the Little Girl: You're fatter this year. Santa: Thank you. You've grown, too. Now go back to sleep. Santa: I think the milk's a little sour. Sarah the Little Girl: It's soy milk. Santa: Huh? Sarah the Little Girl: You said you were lactose intolerant. Santa: I did say that, didn't I? Thank you for remembering.
Det. Nunzio: Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. You know you're Scott Calvin. So let's make this simple: I say, name, you say, Scott Calvin. Det. Nunzio: Name? Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle. Det. Nunzio: Name? Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas. Det. Nunzio: Name! Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelz-Nickel. Scott Calvin: Topo Gigio! Det. Nunzio: Okay, Calvin, maybe a couple of hours in the tank will change your mind.
Scott Calvin: Where is he? Laura: Well, he could be listening to records jumping up and down on his bed wearing a red hat and galloshes. Scott Calvin: I don't care what Neil's doing. Where's Charlie?
Charlie: Get the bag of toys. Scott Calvin: And do what? Charlie: Go down the chimney. Scott Calvin: Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?
Scott Calvin: It was a dream! Stuff like that doesn't happen! It was a dream! Come on! I don't even wear pajamas! Normally I sleep naked! BUCK naked! Ha! Scott Calvin: Good morning, Mrs. McCoy, Mary Katherine. Mrs. McCoy: Eyes front, Mary Katherine. Scott Calvin: Sometimes, boxer shorts. You know.
Bernard: I'll ship the list to your house. Scott Calvin: What list? Bernard: You know, the list. Bernard: He's making a list... Charlie: Checkin' it twice! Elves: Gonna find out who's naughty or nice!
Bernard: What's all this boo-hooin' going on here? Bernard: Hey, how are you doing? Scott: Nothing, Bernard. I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie. Bernard: What good-bye? Charlie, you've still got the glass ball I gave you, right? Charlie: Yeah. Bernard: Well, all you've got to do is shake it, whenever you want to see your dad. Charlie: Really? Bernard: He can come back to see you anytime, day or night. Hey, have i ever steered ya wrong?
Dr. Pete Novos: I don't know, Scott. You're as healthy as a horse. Scott Calvin: Yeah! Clydesdale! Dr. Pete Novos: So what? You put on a little weight. Scott Calvin: Weight? Does this look like a little weight to you? Dr. Pete Novos: Weight can fluctuate from year to year. Scott Calvin: Fluctuate? You make it sound like I'm retaining water. I've gained 45 pounds in a week. Pete, what's happening to me? Dr. Pete Novos: Well, what's your diet like? Scott Calvin: Milk and cookies. Dr. Pete Novos: Really? Scott Calvin: But I don't finish all the milk. Dr. Pete Novos: Well then, there is your problem. Just try to cut back on the sweets, okay?
Charlie: Neil doesn't believe in Santa. Scott: Well, Neil's head comes to a point.
Charlie: Neil's a really good cook. Scott Calvin: Yeah, and you should see him walk on water. Charlie: You don't like him very much, do you, Dad? Scott Calvin: Charlie, I'm sorry, I was just kidding around around. Sure I like him. But there's just something about him that makes me want to -... Charlie: Lash out irrationally? Scott Calvin: Now, where did you hear that? Charlie: From Neil. I learn a lot from him. He listens to me. Scott Calvin: Yeah! And he charges you for it.
Charlie: These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they? Scott Calvin: I hope not. These are... A gift. Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas.
Sarah the Little Girl: Santa? Scott Calvin: Scott Calvin. Sarah the Little Girl: How come your clothes are so baggy? Scott Calvin: Because Santa is... watching his saturated fats. Sarah the Little Girl: How come you don't have a beard? Scott Calvin: Because I shaved! Scott Calvin: You want this doll or not? Go back to sleep.
Bernard: Excuse me. Are we on a coffee break? Kid Elf: We don't drink coffee. Bernard: THEN I GUESS THE BREAK IS OVER! Back to work. Thanks.
Scott Calvin: Here we are. Denny's. Always open. Charlie: I don't wanna eat here. Scott Calvin: What are you talking about? Everybody likes Denny's, it's an American institution.
Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. Charlie: That's okay, Neil. You were just denying your inner child. Dr. Neil Miller: You're going to make a great psychiatrist someday, kid. Charlie: Nah. I think that I'm going to go into the family business.
Scott Calvin: Hey, hey, HEY, wait! There is no chimney here, okay? No chimney! Charlie: Lookin' good, Dad. Scott Calvin: You have *got* to be kidding me.
Little Elf Judy: My own recipe. Took me 1,200 years to get it right. Scott Calvin: 1,200 years? Little Elf Judy: That's right. Scott Calvin: You know, you look pretty good for your age. Little Elf Judy: Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping.
Scott: Hey, kid, kid... who's in charge here? Larry the Elf: You are, and I'm not a kid, I have pointy SHOES that are older than you... I'm an elf.
Laura: Here's Neil's mother's number. Scott Calvin: 1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number.
