從前有個死侍

Fred Savage: You want me to say the thing? From the-- no. Wade Wilson: "Is this a kissing book?" Fred Savage: I'm not gonna say that. Wade Wilson: Why? Fred Savage: Because I don't think that's gross anymore, I'm not 12, and I think a kiss is a very sweet, loving gesture between two people... unlike taping someone to a bed, and kidnapping them! Wade Wilson: I did NOT kidnap you! Alright? I like to call it "unsolicited location enhancement". Fred Savage: Whatever, ball gag. I'm just saying that if you're gonna force me to sit here and listen to this crap, I'm gonna have thoughts, okay? I'm gonna opine about things, alright? I'm an actor, I'm a director... Wade Wilson: I know, I love Modern Family so much. Fred Savage: The point is, you need to anchor the story in believability, and I just don't believe that she'd be kissing you. I mean, she's gorgeous, and you're like, you know, if Rocky Dennis had a baby with lava. Wade Wilson: Hey, zip it. We already pay somebody to say stuff like that to me, okay? And you're wrong, because she would kiss me. She loves my insides. Trust me. Wade Wilson: We all saw the first movie. Fred Savage: I didn't. I kinda prefer Marvel movies. Wade Wilson: We ARE Marvel. Fred Savage: Yeah, but you're, you know, Marvel licensed by Fox. It's like if The Beatles were produced by Nickelback. It's music, but it sucks. Wade Wilson: Just checking the nose for blood there... Wade Wilson: I love Nickelback! You get your dirty mitts off Chad Kroeger. And the joke's on you, because Fox is being bought by Disney! Fred Savage: I think that puts the joke on you. Wade Wilson: Ears closed. Mouth open. You were nicer as a kid.