Leslie Nielsen's Bad Golf My Way

The Caddy: Time to apply the repellent. Leslie Nielsen: Great Scott, I forgot. This is the whole, isn't it? Yeah. Brad: What is that stuff? Leslie Nielsen: Dianastydethylene. You better go ahead and spray yourself, too. This is the only surefire protection against the Death's Head Tick. Brad: The what tick? Leslie Nielsen: The Death's- didn't you check the bulletin board back at the club? This is what they recommend. It's a small biting bug about the size of a period at the end of a sentence. Ioxides... The Caddy: Demeaney. Leslie Nielsen: Ioxides Demeaney. Under a microscope, the shape of its back is like a skull, which is why they call it the Death's Head Tick. Brad: Well isn't that great. They must have a wonderful time at Halloween! Leslie Nielsen: You don't have any repellent? Brad: No. Leslie Nielsen: Uh...? The Caddy: Sorry, we're empty. Leslie Nielsen: We better skip the hole. Brad: Not on your life, pal. There's no way you're gonna be able to say this wasn't an official 18-hole match. You wanna quit, you forfeit the match, you lose the bet. Leslie Nielsen: Hey, look, look. You go right ahead. We're the ones who are protected, you're not. Brad: ...What happens when one of these things bites you? Leslie Nielsen: It's on the bulletin board back at the clubhouse: High fever, seizures, paralysis, gangrene, short term memory loss. They even suspect that the tick is a carrier of leprosy. Leslie Nielsen: Just a minute, hold on. Now... Leslie Nielsen: Right up there, by that tall tree? Brad: Where? Leslie Nielsen: Just to the left of it. You see that little dark cloud? That's a tick swarm. Right up there. Brad: I don't see it. Leslie Nielsen: Just to the right hand side of the tall tree. Brad: Aah! Something... Leslie Nielsen: What is it? Brad: ...in the ear! The Caddy: There was a SWARM of them, right by his head! Brad: In my ear! Leslie Nielsen: That would be the worst place to get one of those ticks, in that ear canal. Leslie Nielsen: Are you sure? The Caddy: Positive. Leslie Nielsen: Well that, that does it. We'll skip the hole. Brad: Oh no, you don't. I'll... tee off from the blues.