Irving Zisman: Can we say a prayer? Lord, please look after Billy and I on our journey with Ellie. And Lord, please look after these men because they were very sweet... and also accomplices to probably what was... technically a crime, but... we're not gonna say anything... James: Come on, man! Are you serious? Irving Zisman: In your name we pray. Amen.
出自電影《無厘取鬧: 祖孫卡好》 的經典對白。
更多無厘取鬧: 祖孫卡好的經典對白
Irving Zisman: My Spanish name is El Mucho Ding-Dong.
Irving Zisman: Now, let's get some damn mustard.
Irving Zisman: I think all this bacon is getting to Grandpa.
Irving Zisman: I may be too old to stir the gravy but I'm still old enough to lick the spoon, that's for damn sure!
Irving Zisman: She was a pain in my ass when we were married and she passed away, she's still being a pain in my ass!
Irving Zisman: We need some chickens and a big side of poontang!
Irving Zisman: You are hotter than a Puerto Rican picnic.
Irving Zisman: I love chocolate! He's harder than a horseshoe!
Irving Zisman: I might be too old to fry the rice, but I can still chop the suey, that's for sure.
Irving Zisman: Oh. I thought she'd *never* die!
Billy: You're my dad. High five, Dad!
Billy: Thanks for the crime!
Irving Zisman: My Spanish name is El Mucho Ding-Dong.
Irving Zisman: You young ladies in the market for a nice bed? Woman #1: No. Irving Zisman: Seventy-five dollars. Woman #2: What's so special about it? Irving Zisman: It's got that special vibrating feature, you know what I'm saying?
Billy: Sometimes he shits himself. Irving Zisman: I don't shit myself, you little prick!
Irving Zisman: I may be too old to stir the gravy but I'm still old enough to lick the spoon, that's for damn sure!
Billy: EW, GRANDPA, YOU *SHARTED*!
Irving Zisman: Now, let's get some damn mustard.
Irving Zisman: I think all this bacon is getting to Grandpa.
Irving Zisman: You know when I was overseas, when you used to sleep with a prostitute, they would squeeze lime juice on your schmeckle to see if you had any diseases. And if you went, "Ooooowww" it means you got something 'cause the cuts burn. I never went "Ooooowww", but one time. It's all cleared up now, though. Ma'am, it's all cleared up. Bingo Woman #1: Oh, okay. Irving Zisman: Alright. Just to prove to you I don't have anything , ladies, I'm gonna squeeze this lime juice on my schmeckle right now. Bingo Woman #2: Oh my god! Irving Zisman: Okay. Watch this. Watch this. Here it goes. Here it goes! Nothing. Nothing. I got nothing. That is free advertising right there. It did sting a little when it got to my bunghole though, I'll tell you that. That's just between us girls. I'm gonna have to have that checked out.
Billy: You know what I wanna be when I grow up? Lady: What? Billy: A fisherman. I want to go fishing everyday 'till I'm rich so I can move right next to the jailhouse so I can be close to my mommy. She got arrested for drugs again, so she has to go back. Lady: I'm sorry to hear that.
Billy: You shouldn't drink so much. Irving Zisman: Pipe down! Irving Zisman: Oh, God... Billy: Do you have any idea how heavy you are? Irving Zisman: Do you have any idea how I don't give a shit?
Irving Zisman: I might be too old to fry the rice, but I can still chop the suey, that's for sure.
Irving Zisman: She was a pain in my ass when we were married and she passed away, she's still being a pain in my ass!
Irving Zisman: We need some chickens and a big side of poontang!
Irving Zisman: Was she your girlfriend? Billy: Yeah... Irving Zisman: How long did you go out with her? Billy: A day. Irving Zisman: A day? Reminds me of most of my relationships!
Irving Zisman: Oh. I thought she'd *never* die!
Billy: She passed away. Woman: Oh dear, that's very sad. Irving Zisman: Well, it's not so sad. She was kind of a bitch, but yeah. Woman: Jeez. My goodness! Irving Zisman: Well, gotta call a spade a spade.
Irving Zisman: Can we say a prayer? Lord, please look after Billy and I on our journey with Ellie. And Lord, please look after these men because they were very sweet... and also accomplices to probably what was... technically a crime, but... we're not gonna say anything... James: Come on, man! Are you serious? Irving Zisman: In your name we pray. Amen.
Billy: Wanna see how red I can get my face? Irving Zisman: Yeah. Stop stop stop. Oh my god, that was redder than a ape's ass. Billy: Watch your mouth. Irving Zisman: Oh sorry. That was redder than a ape's tuchus.
Irving Zisman: You are hotter than a Puerto Rican picnic.
George Prisco: I'm about to whip you, motherfucker. Up your ass, bro. Irving Zisman: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get your doober! Oh. Oh. I got your doober! I got your doober! Irving Zisman: I ate your doober. George Prisco: You shouldn't be fucking driving anyway! You're fucking 85 years old! Irving Zisman: I got his doober! George Prisco: Thank god that wasn't a human being. Irving Zisman: I got his doober and he's mad!
George Prisco: Listen to me, you're going to fix that penguin, bro. Whether you like it or not, believe me, you're gonna fix it. Irving Zisman: Nope. I mean if I was fixing it, you'd see me fixing it, but... I'm not fixing it. Irving Zisman: Did you notice how I wasn't fixing it?
Irving Zisman: I love chocolate! He's harder than a horseshoe!
Billy: You're my dad. High five, Dad!
Irving Zisman: Why are you shaking your head? Chuck: 'Cause this is real bad timing right now for me and I'm having some problems with my business right now. Irving Zisman: Oh, your business, huh? What business is that? Chuck: I sell computers! Irving Zisman: Sells com... he couldn't sell pussy on a troop train.
Billy: Did you just toot, grandpa? Irving Zisman: That was a church house creeper.
