God: You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.
出自電影《王牌天神》 的經典對白。
更多王牌天神的經典對白
把湯分成兩半並不是奇蹟，那是魔術。一個單親媽媽，除了做兩個工作之外，她還能找出時間來陪她的小孩練習足球，那才是奇蹟。人們總希望我替他們創造奇蹟，但是他們不曉得他們自己就有這樣的能力。你希望看到奇蹟嗎？由你自己去創造吧！
God: No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.
Bruce: Okay, prayer beads, 'God, please give me a sign.'
Bruce: Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.
Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Bruce: Okay, now you're just showing off.
God: You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.
Bruce Nolan: And he saw that it was 'good'!
God: I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.
Bruce: Yes, behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes, folks!
Bruce: I can hold that note all day, buddy.
Bruce: Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.
Bruce: I am Bruce Almighty! My will be done!
"LIFE IS JUST" Bruce: "LIFE IS JUST"? Just get a clue!
Bruce: I'm Bruce Nolan with Eyewitness Nose... Eyewitness Nose... that's right!
Bruce: B-E-A-utiful. Come on, let's go back inside and have a shit.
Bruce Nolan: Vol? Vol? You want a tissue or something? Can we get Vol a tissue... or a spoon?
Evan Baxter: Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.
Bruce: And the cookie is... ten feet and four inches! That's a record!
Grace: I don't want a dog that craps in a toilet!
Bruce: I'm not a martyr. I'm the victim.
God: No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.
Bruce: B-E-A-utiful.
Bruce: Okay, prayer beads, 'God, please give me a sign.'
Bruce: Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.
Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Bruce: Okay, now you're just showing off.
God: I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.
God: Allllllrighty then.
God: You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.
Bruce: Yes, behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes, folks!
Bruce: Smite me, oh mighty Smiter!
Bruce: I can hold that note all day, buddy.
Bruce: Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.
Bruce: Okay, prayer beads, 'God, please give me a sign.'
Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Bruce: Okay, now you're just showing off.
God: I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.
Bruce Nolan: And he saw that it was 'good'!
Bruce: Yes, behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes, folks!
Bruce: I can hold that note all day, buddy.
Bruce: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that? God: Great... If you wanna be Miss America.
Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive. Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.
God: There are only 2 rules. You can't tell anybody you're God, believe me you don't want that kind of attention, and you can't mess with free will. Bruce: Can I ask why? God: Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!
Bruce: There were so many. I just gave them all what they want. God: Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?
Bruce: How do you make someone love you without affecting Free Will? God: Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.
Grace: Debbie won the lottery. Bruce: Oh, yeah? You're kidding. Grace: But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
Bruce: Give me a break! God: Really something, isn't it? Bruce: Is this heaven? God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all. Bruce: I'm DEAD? God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya. Bruce: That's not funny, Man! That is NOT funny.
Bruce: Hey kid, wanna make 10 bucks? Kid: Sure. Bruce: You know how to work one of these? Kid: Duh! Bruce: Seems to be in tune. Let's do this!
Bruce: Would it help if I said I was being a complete ass? Kid: Hey. You said "ass". Bruce: Yeah, but it's ok if I'm talkin' about a donkey.
Bruce: What if I need you? What if I have questions? God: That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.
Bruce: So tell us mama, why make Buffalo's biggest cookie? Mama Kowolski: Well, man from health department say he find rat pellet in pastry but I say no, is big chocolate sprinkle, but he shut store down. So we clean up, make big cookie for to bring customers back. Bruce: Let's try that again, shall we? Bruce: So tell us mama, why make Buffalo's biggest cookie? Mama Kowolski: So all the children in the neighborhood will be happy? Bruce: And isn't it nice to see all their smiling faces? Vol Kowolski: I work in back. I see no smiles.
Grace: So God is picking on you? Bruce: No, he's ignoring me completely!
Bruce: It's a good thing I'm wearing this Bruce: because I wouldn't want any stray hairs falling into the booger!
Mother: What the heck is that? Grace: Oh, Bruce's new car. Mother: Ok... Grace: I am mad at you. Bruce: I know you are, and you have every right to be. Bruce: But I have flowers. Grace: What are those? Bruce: They're a hybrid of sunflowers and lilies. I call 'em "sillies". 'Cause they're a little mixed up like me.
