Daniel Cleaver: You're insane! Mark Darcy: And you're a disgrace, Cleaver, and you're gonna pay for it! Daniel Cleaver: Ow, you're pulling my hair! Fuck off, I'm not going in the sodding water! Mark Darcy: You're going in, Cleaver! Daniel Cleaver: If I'm going in, you're going in with me, you smug bastard!
出自電影《BJ 單身日記：男人禍水》 的經典對白。
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Shazzer: What about a wig? They're lawyers aren't they? Lawyers love wigs.
Bridget Jones: She's got legs up to here! My legs only come up to here!
Bridget Jones: Oh God, I'm very worried. What if someone says, "Bridget Jones get out of here, you are ridiculous"?
Daniel Cleaver: Well, you know what a fan I am of any woman married to Mark Darcy.
Bridget Jones: Am late, with mad hair, and can barely breathe in scary knickers.
Bridget Jones: Janey Osbourne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish.
Daniel Cleaver: I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl who turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy!
Daniel Cleaver: What is this special power you hold over me, Jones?
Bridget Jones: I'm pregnant... AND I'M GOING TO DIE!
Shazzer: What about a wig? They're lawyers aren't they? Lawyers love wigs.
Bridget Jones: She's got legs up to here! My legs only come up to here!
Bridget Jones: Oh God, I'm very worried. What if someone says, "Bridget Jones get out of here, you are ridiculous"?
Daniel Cleaver: Well, you know what a fan I am of any woman married to Mark Darcy.
Bridget Jones: Am late, with mad hair, and can barely breathe in scary knickers.
Bridget Jones: Janey Osbourne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish.
Daniel Cleaver: I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl who turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy!
Daniel Cleaver: What is this special power you hold over me, Jones?
Bridget Jones: I'm pregnant... AND I'M GOING TO DIE!
Bridget Jones: Oh God, I'm very worried. What if someone says, "Bridget Jones get out of here, you are ridiculous"?
Daniel Cleaver: You know what, mate? If you are so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her? Mark Darcy: Daniel Cleaver: Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
Bridget Jones: I will not fuck it up again, Mum. Mum: Bridget! Language! Bridget Jones: Sorry. I will not fuck it up again... mother.
Mark Darcy: As a matter of fact, I have a question to ask you. Bridget Jones: Okay. As long as it's not, "Will you marry me?" Bridget Jones: Oh, God... It *is* "Will you marry me?" Mark Darcy: Well, I'm not going to say it now. Bridget Jones: No, no, no! Just wait! Mark Darcy: The moment's gone, Bridget. Bridget Jones: We've just come out into the corridor and you say, "I've got a question to ask you" and then I don't say *anything*! Bridget Jones: and you say... Mark Darcy: Bridget Jones, will you marry me?
Mark Darcy: What on Earth are you doing? Bridget Jones: Getting dressed. Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business? Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits. Mark Darcy: Well now that's a bit pointless, isn't it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances. Bridget Jones: Really? Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it's high time we had another look.
Bridget Jones: I read that you should never go out with someone if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't. Mark Darcy: And can you think of three? Bridget Jones: Yes. Mark Darcy: Which are? Bridget Jones: First off, I embarrass you. I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin , my legs only come up to here and yes I will always be just a little bit fat. And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed! Mark Darcy: No, hang on! That-that can't be a reason. Bridget Jones: No, it's not a reason! But you're not perfect either! You look down your nose at absolutely everyone and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate. Bridget Jones: It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room who's- who's so fantastic, just the way she is, that you don't need to fix her. Mark Darcy: Bridget, this is mad. Bridget Jones: And perhaps you thought you found her. Bridget Jones: Do you *want* to marry me? Mark Darcy: Look- I... Bridget Jones: You see, you can never muster the strength, to fight for me.
Mark Darcy: Would you step outside please? Daniel Cleaver: I'm afraid it's not possible. Mark Darcy: Look are you gonna step outside or do I have to drag you? Daniel Cleaver: I think you're gonna have to drag me.
Daniel Cleaver: You're insane! Mark Darcy: And you're a disgrace, Cleaver, and you're gonna pay for it! Daniel Cleaver: Ow, you're pulling my hair! Fuck off, I'm not going in the sodding water! Mark Darcy: You're going in, Cleaver! Daniel Cleaver: If I'm going in, you're going in with me, you smug bastard!
Bridget Jones: You're outside! Look err, I'll ring you later. Unless you've come to chuck me once and for all, in which case... Bye and thank you and sorry. Bridget Jones: Oh God please don't chuck me, don't chuck me. If you have chucked me, please change your mind, I'll behave much better in future. Bridget Jones: On the other hand if you haven't chucked me please behave better next time we go out. Stuck up snob.
Bridget Jones: You are angry. Mark Darcy: No, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. Bridget Jones: Disappointed? Oh, God, that's worse than angry. Mark Darcy: I'm just disappointed I can't take you home this instant.
Mark Darcy: Can I ask you a question Bridget? Bridget Jones: Of course, any question... as long as it's not, 'Will You Marry Me'. Bridget Jones: Omg, it is isn't it? It's will you Marry me? Ok, no! Wait, pretend that we just came out... Bridget Jones: and you asked me if you could ask me a question and I said yes and NOTHING more. Ok, go. Mark Darcy: Bridget Jones, will you marry me?
Shazzer: Jellyfisher alert. Jellyfisher alert. Bridget Jones: Janey Osbourne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish.
Bridget Jones: Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job. Daniel Cleaver: Oh, come on Jones there must have been something you liked about me. Bridget Jones: You have a nice car. And - quite nice manners, outside the bedroom. But that's about it. And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. The question is, do you know the location of your arsehole? Daniel Cleaver: As a matter of fact I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers, for that matter.
Bridget Jones: Have never been happier in entire life. However, must not obsess or fantasize. Bridget Jones: Bridget Darcy; Mrs. Darcy; Mr. and Mrs. Darcy; Lord and Lady Darcy!
Jeremy Paxman: Ah Daniel! Your Madrid piece was outstanding. Full of insights; really original. Daniel Cleaver: Oh cheers Jeremy, thanks mate. Ya, I really appreciate that. Lads worked really hard on that one. Daniel Cleaver: Tosser. Daniel Cleaver: Talking of which, how is Mark Darcy?
Daniel Cleaver: Oh, come on Jones. Who gave who the hoof... and why? Bridget Jones: Let's just say... that we suffered from fatal incompatibility.
Shazzer: Fuck! Bridget Jones: What? Shazzer: There's no fucking room in the fucking suitcase.
