Herbie Stemple: You know what the problem with you bums is? You never leave a guy alone unless you're leaving him alone.
出自電影《益智遊戲》 的經典對白。
更多益智遊戲的經典對白
Herbie Stemple: You know what the problem with you bums is? You never leave a guy alone unless you're leaving him alone.
Mark Van Doren: Cheating on a quiz show? That's sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip.
Mark Van Doren: Sixty-four thousand dollars for a question, I hope they are asking you the meaning of life.
Dick Goodwin: And I'll send you a little helpful reminder. You'll notice it because it'll look very much like a subpoena.
Mark Van Doren: If you look around the table and you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Dick Goodwin: I thought we were gonna get television. The truth is... television is gonna get us.
Herbie Stemple: You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.
Albert Freedman: It's not like we're hardened criminals here. We're in show business.
Herbie Stemple: That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it.
Charles Van Doren: I've been swarmed by stockbrokers lately; I feel like a girl with a bad reputation.
Herbie Stemple: And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything.
Herbie Stemple: I love my wife, but it's like living with a plague of locusts.
Herbie Stemple: Charles Van Doren! He wouldn't know the answer to a door bell if you didn't give it to him!
Kitner: You're a producer, Dan. Produce.
Herbie Stemple: I'll just tell everyone it's a fraud! That'll warm them up! The fix is in, this week on Twenty One!
Blonde: Well, there's a face for radio.
Herbie Stemple: No, Herbert Stempel is not going to win $100,000! Herbert Stempel is going to take a dive!
Herbie Stemple: That big, uncircumcised putz is on the cover of Time Magazine and I can't even make the top 42 for a panel show.
Mark Van Doren: Cheating on a quiz show? That's sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip.
Mark Van Doren: Sixty-four thousand dollars for a question, I hope they are asking you the meaning of life.
Dick Goodwin: And I'll send you a little helpful reminder. You'll notice it because it'll look very much like a subpoena.
Mark Van Doren: If you look around the table and you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Dick Goodwin: I thought we were gonna get television. The truth is... television is gonna get us.
Herbie Stemple: You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.
Albert Freedman: It's not like we're hardened criminals here. We're in show business.
Charles Van Doren: I've been swarmed by stockbrokers lately; I feel like a girl with a bad reputation.
Herbie Stemple: And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything.
Herbie Stemple: I love my wife, but it's like living with a plague of locusts.
Charles Van Doren: "So pure it floats", hmm?
Herbie Stemple: Charles Van Doren! He wouldn't know the answer to a door bell if you didn't give it to him!
Kitner: You're a producer, Dan. Produce.
Herbie Stemple: You know what the problem with you bums is? You never leave a guy alone unless you're leaving him alone.
Herbie Stemple: That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it.
Dick Goodwin: I know you're lying. Charles Van Doren: Bluffing. The word is bluffing.
Charles Van Doren: They gave me the answers. Mark Van Doren: They gave you the answers... they gave YOU the answers? Charles Van Doren: Well, no... no, at first they'd ask me questions they already knew I knew the answers to. We ran through those, and I really didn't want them to give me the answers, so they gave me the questions and I'd look up the answers on my own, as if that were any different. Well, we ran through those in a couple of weeks and I just didn't have the time, finally, and it just seemed silly, so... Mark Van Doren: They gave you all that money to answer questions they knew you knew... now, that's inflation! Charles Van Doren: You're not being very helpful!
Dick Goodwin: 21 is rigged and I can prove it... I have Enright cold and that means I have you. Kitner: Really? Dick Goodwin: Really. Kitner: Then how come you're the one who's sweating?
Dick Goodwin: Hey, you don't have to be a genius to connect the dots. Charles Van Doren: Well, don't connect them through me. Dick Goodwin: Hey, don't treat me like some member of your goddamn fan club. Are you telling me everybody got the answers but you? Charles Van Doren: You're so persistent, Dick. You know, I really envy that. Dick Goodwin: Was it just the money, Charlie? Charles Van Doren: You'll forgive me, but anyone who thinks money is ever "just money" couldn't have much of it. Dick Goodwin: Charlie, you wanna insult me, fine, but you can't envy me at the same time.
Student At Book Party: Professor Van Doren, I took your course at Columbia - "Hawthorne, Original Sin, and the American Experience". Well, as silly as it sounds, it changed my life. Mark Van Doren: Was it the Hawthorne or the sin?
Dick Goodwin: Excuse me. Do you think he might see me before the peacock molts? Kintner's Secretary: Who are you with again? Dick Goodwin: I'm with the United States Congress. Perhaps you've heard of them.
Dan Enright: How much do they pay instructors up at Columbia? Charles Van Doren: Eighty-six dollars a week. Dan Enright: Do you have any idea how much Bozo the Clown makes? Charles Van Doren: Well... we, we can't all be Bozo the Clown.
Dick Goodwin: There's absolutely no need to drag the man into the spotlight. Sandra Goodwin: You dragged Herb Stempel into the spotlight. Dick Goodwin: Stempel? The man has to be dragged from the spotlight with his teeth marks still on it!
Mark Van Doren: What these books have conclusively proven is that the diffence between men and women is exactly 38 pages. Man 1: Can I quote you, Mark? Mark Van Doren: Not before I quote me. Dorothy Van Doren: His own quotes are his greatest pleasure. Man 2: Did you hear the market dropped 30 points today. There's a rumor Eisenhower died. Dorothy Van Doren: How could they tell? Mark Van Doren: Oh, please. Don't get Dorothy started on politics. There'll be a raid.
Toby Stempel: My mother wants to know why you only went for eight on the movies. Herbie Stemple: Because my real expertise is pain-in-the-ass in-laws, all right?
Dick Goodwin: You know, money isn't everything. Sandra Goodwin: I'm not the one who came home with a Chrysler catalogue.
Charles Van Doren: Last week alone, I had 11 proposals of marriage! Mark Van Doren: Perhaps you should accept one of them. Dorothy Van Doren: And to think, they unleash you on those impressionable young minds. Mark Van Doren: Well, why not? He's 33 years old, Jesus Christ had a girlfriend at 33 years old. Dorothy Van Doren: Look how that turned out. Thomas Merton, The Monk: And, he shared an office with His Father!
Mark Van Doren: Charlie, from what I understand, it's just a bunch of frauds showing off an erudition they really didn't have. All you have to do is... Charles Van Doren: The problem is, Dad, is that it seems I was one of those frauds.
Herbie Stemple: Don't do this to me, it's humiliating. Enright: For seventy grand, Herb, you can afford to be humiliated.
Mark Van Doren: Why don't you just put it in the bank Charlie? That's what I've always done with my prize money. Charles Van Doren: It's just, you don't understand dad, it's, there are all sorts of tax implications Mark Van Doren: You Think I can't understand the concept of taxes. Charles Van Doren: At this level it's a bit more complicated. Mark Van Doren: And at my level? I never thought of myself as having a level. What level might that be?
Dick Goodwin: You're to receive the questions in advance, and I'm to thank you for the courtesy of attending this hearing. Martin Rittenhome: Mercy. What a grueling line of inquiry. Dick Goodwin: Must have a familiar ring - the questions in advance.
Albert Freedman: If you were a kid, would you wanna be an annoying Jewish guy with a side wall haircut? Charles Van Doren: Well I wanted to be Joe Dimaggio. Albert Freedman: Oh yeah, me too. Especially after he signed for that hundred grand.
Dan Enright: Well, it's the damndest thing, but you've plateaued. Herbie Stemple: Plateaued? What - wh-what kind of word is that? Dan Enright: What, plateaued? Herbie Stemple: Plateaued. Dan Enright: Plateaued? Uh, it's well, it's like, uh, you... Herbie Stemple: You mean, people don't like me anymore? Dan Enright: No, no, no. It's not you, per se. It's just... Herbie Stemple: Maybe I should get my teeth capped Dan Enright: No, it's the nature of the show. They've already seen you win, and they want something new. Herbie Stemple: So, what are you saying? Th - You think they want me to lose? Dan Enright: Well, don't you think that's natural? Herbie Stemple: Joe Louis was the champ for 12 years. Nobody ever wanted Joe Louis to lose.
Charles Van Doren: I'm just trying to imagine what Kant would make of this. Albert Freedman: I don't think he'd have a problem with it.
