Mike Chadway: It's not for you, it's for your bean.
出自電影《男女生了沒》 的經典對白。
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Mike Chadway: You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.
Mike Chadway: It's not for you, it's for your bean.
Mike Chadway: You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.
Mike Chadway: It's not for you, it's for your bean.
Mike Chadway: Oh, I know, I've got a great idea! Why don't we pass the time with you telling me how much *fun* you and Colin had having sex in Los Angeles? Abby Richter: I broke up with Colin in Los Angeles, you jackass! Mike Chadway: What? Abby Richter: Oh, oh yeah, that's got your interest. Well if you think we're going to finish what we started in L. A. you are out of your mind. You lost your chance. Mike Chadway: Oh, c'mon, I never had a chance with you. Abby Richter: You're right. I had a momentary lapse in judgement when I thought you were more than you are, but you aren't. Clearly. Mike Chadway: Oh, yeah? Well what does that mean? Abby Richter: I'm Mike Chadway. I like girls in Jello. I like to fuck like a monkey. Don't fall in love. It's scary. Mike Chadway: Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you. Abby Richter: I am not a psycho! Mike Chadway: I just told you that I loved you and all you heard was "psycho." Well you're the definition of neurotic. Abby Richter: No! The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of... Mike Chadway: Shut up! Yet again I just told you I'm in love with you and you're standing here giving me a vocabulary lesson. Abby Richter: You're in love with me. Why? Mike Chadway: Beats the shit out of me, but I am.
Abby Richter: I am not desperate! Abby Richter: Why, did you think I sounded desperate? Mike: Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sounded desperate?
Mike Chadway: Rule #3, men are very visual. We have to change your look. Abby Richter: What's wrong with my look? Mike Chadway: Abby, you're a very attractive woman, but you're completely inaccessible. You're all about comfort and efficiency! Abby Richter: What's wrong with comfort and efficiency? Mike Chadway: Well nothing, except no one wants to fuck it.
Abby Richter: I'm sorry, but Jack Magnun will no longer be able to do 'The Ugly Truth', which should really come as no surprise because men are completely unreliable. Take Mike Chadway, for instance. He up and quit the show, without so much as a word. You think you know what men are going to do. You think you know what men want to do, but when it comes right down to that moment where they need to step up and, I don't know, make a move - they chicken out. Mike: Oh! I am all over this. Abby Richter: The big strong brave men, that we've all been reading about in novels and watching in movies since we've been nine years old, - -that's a fallacy. They don't exist. Men are not strong. Men are not brave. Men, are afraid. Even if they have a moment in a hotel elevator and it's totally romantic and full of potential, men are incapable of copping to it because, why? Men are weak. Mike: Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who fit the criteria, don't kid yourselves. Cuz they're not sleeping with you, they're sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices. Money over substance, looks over soul, polished over principles. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials. Abby Richter: This coming from a man who's never made a gesture other than this one.
Mike Chadway: I want to thank you for getting me this gig, I would never have gotten it without you. You and I? We make good TV. Mike Chadway: *YOU* make imbecillic trash watched by house-bound inbreds who are so busy with their hands down their pants they can't change the remote. Mike Chadway: I, I hadn't really been picturing you that way, but it's a nice image. Abby Richter: I do not watch your program. My cat stepped on the remote. Mike Chadway: Well, you want to thank your pussy for me, then?
Mike Chadway: Now, we have to teach you flirting. Abby Richter: I know how to flirt. Mike Chadway: You know how to flirt. "Oh, my name's Abby and I love reading Tolstoy. I also love cats, gardening, and romantic picnics." I don't think so. Abby Richter: Hey baby, you wearing any underwear? Mike Chadway: Hey, you know what? I wouldn't say that, and I wouldn't grab ass. Abby Richter: What's wrong with a little ass grabbing, I mean what's it there for if not for me to grab it? Abby Richter: You're just a set of orifices, and a pair of tee-ta's. Mike Chadway: And you are a deeply, deeply disturbed person. Abby Richter: Hmm, maybe I'm just a really good student. Mike Chadway: Would you stop doing that? Abby Richter: Doing what? Mike Chadway: Running your finger down... there... over me. Abby Richter: Why, is it turning you on? Mike Chadway: Maybe. Abby Richter: It's weird, I think I kinda like it. Mike Chadway: Really? Abby Richter: Sucker. Mike Chadway: I knew it. Okay, no teaching the teacher.
Mike Chadway: Yea, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I am in love with a psycho like you. Abby Richter: I am not a psycho! Mike Chadway: I just told you that I loved you, and all you heard was 'psycho'. The definition of neurotic! Abby Richter: The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of... Mike Chadway: Shut up! Yet again, I just told you I am in love with you and you are standing here giving me a vocabulary list.
Abby Richter: Can we go over your intro one more time? "I'm Jack Magnum and this is..." Jack Magnum: The Ugly Truth. Abby Richter: Ok, let's maybe lose the gun thing. Jack Magnum: What? The gun is my signature move. Abby Richter: Unless the NRA is paying your mortgage this month, I say lose the effing gun!
Abby Richter: He's such a great guy, right? Mike Chadway: Yeah, he's dreamy. Abby Richter: Yeah, and he fits all 10 of the criteria on my checklist. Mike Chadway: Right, though weren't items 1 through 9 something to do with him pretty much being gay?
Abby Richter: ABBY: I do not watch your program. My cat stepped on the remote. Mike Chadway: MIKE: Oh, you want to thank your pussy for me, then?
