Chaka: I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.
出自電影《白爛賤客》 的經典對白。
更多白爛賤客的經典對白
Cock-Knocker: Don't fuck with the Jedi Master, son.
Holden: Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.
Jay: In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
Holden: Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal... Bong.
Chaka: Crazy crackers with guns. Its time I get my black ass out of here.
Chaka: I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.
Brodie: It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.
Randal Graves: See? If you were funnier than that, ABC wouldn't have cancelled us.
Holden: Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.
Jay: Dude, I think I just filled the cup.
Jay: Just call me Darth Balls... Bong.
Chaka: Duck, pie fucker! Damn, these white boys can't fight.
Chrissy: Holy Fuck! The little stoner was right!
Jay: Whoaaa... avenge me... Hemp Knight.
Whillenholly: We don't want to rub the C.L.I.T. the wrong way.
Whillenholly: Remember, folks... stimulation of the C.L.I.T is not recommended.
Chaka: Do you think "Fat Albert" had an inker? No, Bill Cosby did the whole thing with a roller and it was EXCELLENT.
Ben Affleck: Are we gonna have a problem... again?
Willenholly: Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! You chug that ass cock, baby. You need two hands. Oh, you like that, MULE. Mules are... GOOD!
Chrissy: Kaboom, you little stoner fucks!
Jay: I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!
Brent: What's your damage, little boy? You've got a sick and twisted world perspective.
Reg Hartner: And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.
Jay: Hey. Get the fuck off her. That's my ex-girlfriend's monkey.
Whillenholly: I don't get out to the movies that much, but "Bluntman and Chronic" was blunt-tastic.
Sheriff: The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk.
Randal Graves: See? I told you that restraining order was a good idea.
Jay: Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizzouse!
Chaka: Another white boy in this movie? Damn.
Brodie: And on that note, we cue the music.
Jay: I said you LOVE the cock. I must be the craftiest motherfucker alive.
Brent: Hey, watch the language, little boy. There's females present.
Cock-Knocker: Don't fuck with the Jedi Master, son.
Cock-Knocker: Not again.
Holden: Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.
Jay: In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
Holden: Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal... Bong.
Chaka: Crazy crackers with guns. Its time I get my black ass out of here.
Chaka: I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.
Hooker #1: Hey, little man! You want some of this? Hooker #2: How 'bout you, big boy? Hooker #1: You got 50 bucks, we can get NASTY. Jay: Oh, yeah? How nasty? Hooker #2: As nasty as you want to be, papi. Jay: Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don't stick you're finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out. Hooker #1: Oh, that's it, honey! I quit! This job just passed the point of no return! Jay: What? You said "nasty"! Jay: Man, chicks in Hollywood are so stuck-up.
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup. Echo Base: I thought that was a 10-82. Miramax Security Guard Gordon: No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer. Echo Base: Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way...
Jay: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noise noise noise, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noise, noise noise / Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz, / Doin' coke, drinkin' beers, / Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, / Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin' blunts and smokin'... Teen #2: Uh, let me get a nickel bag. Jay: / Fifteen bucks, little man, / Put that shit in my hand, / If that money doesn't show, / Then you owe me, owe me, owe, / My jungle love, yeah, / Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe, / I think I want to know ya, know ya, / Yeah, what? Teen #1: What the hell are you singing? Jay: You don't know "Jungle Love?" That shit is the mad notes. Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-fucking Time. Teen #2: You mean the guys in that Prince movie? Teen #1: Yeah, Purple Rain. Teen #2: Man, that shit was so gay - fucking eighties style.
Jason Biggs: You're doubling me, obviously. I play Bluntman, aka Silent Bill. James Van Der Beek: Bob. Jason Biggs: Right. And he's playing Chronic, aka Ray. James Van Der Beek: Jay. Fuck, Biggs, did you even READ the script? Jason Biggs: There's a script? James Van Der Beek: Listen, Potzer! Jason Biggs: There's a script for this movie? James Van Der Beek: You wouldn't last A DAY on the Creek. A day. Jason Biggs: Fuck you and your Dawson's Crap! Go to hell, Pacey! Go to hell! James Van Der Beek: At least call me by the right fucking character.
Chaka's Production Assistant: You the man. Chaka Luther King: No, you the man, and that's the problem.
Jay: Why do they call you Cock-Knocker? Cock-Knocker: Actually, there's a funny story behind that. Ha, ha, you're gonna love this. True story!
Sissy: Shut the fuck up, before I shoot you where you stand in your pansy red booties. Jay: I *AM* wearing pansy red booties Jay: Why the fuck didn't you tell me?
Devil Jay: Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! Girls like that kinda shit. Devil Jay 2: Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out, but we bitch-slapped that motherfucker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy... Angel Jay: Jesus loves the little children... Angel Jay: Oh sorry I'm late. So what's the deal here? Angel Jay: Oh shit! Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you? Angel Jay: Tell you what... Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your dick out. Angel Jay: That's it boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta beat the shit out of those punch-sucker little bitches. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she asks, or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG...
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt sirs, but we've got a 10-07 on our hands. Matt Damon: Oh Jesus, again Ben? Ben Affleck: No, bullshit, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA! Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: There they are! Jay: Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo!
Sissy: Your shit is really getting tired, Justice. Justice: Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-Fuck', bitch.
Jay: So your in this for the pussy right? Brent: No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid? Jay: Even Sheep? Brent: Of course. Sheep are beautiful creatures. Jay: So would you fuck a sheep? Brent: What is your damage, little boy. You have a sick and twisted world perspective. Jay: No, you're misunderstaning me, Prince Valiant. I'm saying if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep, if you were another sheep? Brent: Well, in that case, you bet your sweet ass I would. Jay: Thought so. Jay: Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a sheep! Brent: No! No! No! Jay: WHO'S STUPID NOW, DIRTY SHEEP FUCKER!
Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck? Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck? Justice: No. Go. Jay: Fuck. Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid motherfucka!
Whillenholly: The C.L.I.T. is an offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A. Reg Hartner: Oh, you mean the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement?
Teen #1: Jay says you guys had a Star Wars themed wedding, and you tied the knot dressed as Storm Troopers. Teen #2: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch. Dante Hicks: I'm the BITCH? Randal Graves: Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it. Dante Hicks: Will you shut up! Teen #1: Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over.
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch The WB? Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie fucker. Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.
James Van Der Beek: You actually watch that show? Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd base with her? James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time...
Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than "Clash of the Titans." Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me. Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order. Dante Hicks: Why? Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the internet tonight.
Silent Bob's Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes. Silent Bob's Mother: You be good, now. Jay's Mother: Alright, don't you fuckin' move you little shit machine. Your Momma's going to try to score. Passerby: What the hell? 'Scuse me. Who's watching these babies? Jay's Mother: Uh... the fat one's watchin the little one? Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens. Jay's Mother: YO, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING SQUARE! Passerby: Oh yeah, keep on truckin'! Jay's Mother: Did ya hear that fuckin' guy tellin' me how to fuckin' raise ya? What a motherfucker, man! Who the fuck does that fuckin' guy think he is? What's the worst fuckin' thing that can fuckin' happen to ya just standing outside a fuckin' store, right? Fuck! Baby Jay: Fuck... fuck... fuck... fuck...
Willenholly: Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony! Justice: You're not paralyzed. It was just a tranquilizer.
Brodie: It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.
Randal Graves: See? If you were funnier than that, ABC wouldn't have cancelled us.
Chaka's Production Assistant: Here's your coffee, sir. Chaka: Did you spit in this? Chaka's Production Assistant: I didn't spit in it, sir. Chaka: Any boogers in it? Chaka's Production Assistant: There's no boogers in it, sir. Chaka: You went to film school, didn't you? Must piss you off to see a black man runnin' a big old production like this, huh? Went to film school. Does your daddy know that you give a nigga his coffee? It would kill him, wouldn't it? Chaka's Production Assistant: There's no boogers in it, sir. Chaka: Then taste it. Taste it! Taste the booger flavor. I know it's in there!
Hitchhiker: Have you seen the price of bus tickets lately. There's no way I'm gonna cough up 200 bucks just to get to Chicago. Jay: Fuck that, I don't wanna cough up some dude's sperm. Hitchhiker: Don't be so suburban. It's the new millennium. Gay, straight... it's all the same now. There are no more lines.
Whillenholly: They've got a monkey in there? Sheriff: An ape. Whillenholly: What? Sheriff: An orangutan's a member of the great ape family, it's not a monkey. Whillenholly: Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshal here, me or you? That's what I thought.
Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'. Chrissy: I'm on it. Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something? Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot. Jay: Dude, she called you retarded.
