Mr. Coplin: San Diego has a big carjacking problem. They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and take your car.
出自電影《與災難調情》 的經典對白。
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Mr. Coplin: San Diego has a big carjacking problem. They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and take your car.
Agent Paul: You do know it is a federal offense to destroy a United States Post Office?
Fritz Boudreau: I dropped a lotta baby batter in my day; this is the first son I ever met.
Tina: I guess it's just one of those ex-felon, pro-acid kind of non-smoking homes.
Tina: Every marriage is vulnerable, otherwise being married wouldn't mean anything, would it?
Mary Schlichting: We love you very much. If you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would still love you.
Mel: I don't think you know me well enough to call me "Neurotic Guy".
Mrs. Coplin: If I overreacted, why am I wearing handcuffs in the middle of a jail?
Valerie Swaney: All children break things. All children are forgiven. It's a gift from God.
Nancy Coplin: Does anybody actually own a white Taurus, or are they all rentals?
Mrs. Coplin: Why does he have to do the Roots thing? Aren't we good enough parents?
Tony: Nancy was saying you were having some tension about oral sex.
Mel: Oh, so I'm 'Neurotic Guy', is that my designation?
Mrs. Coplin: This woman strikes me as being very dangerous.
Mrs. Coplin: I'm..uh..abrasive, pushy, defensive...my husband is...uh...food-phobic, passive-aggressive...eh?...c'mon!
Agent Paul: Without spontaneity, the world of B&B's is fairly meaningless.
Mr. Coplin: San Diego has a big carjacking problem. They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and take your car.
Agent Paul: You do know it is a federal offense to destroy a United States Post Office?
Tina: Every marriage is vulnerable, otherwise being married wouldn't mean anything, would it?
Mel: I don't think you know me well enough to call me "Neurotic Guy".
Fritz Boudreau: I dropped a lotta baby batter in my day; this is the first son I ever met.
Mrs. Coplin: If I overreacted, why am I wearing handcuffs in the middle of a jail?
Tina: I guess it's just one of those ex-felon, pro-acid kind of non-smoking homes.
Mary Schlichting: We love you very much. If you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would still love you.
Valerie Swaney: All children break things. All children are forgiven. It's a gift from God.
Nancy Coplin: Does anybody actually own a white Taurus, or are they all rentals?
Mrs. Coplin: Why does he have to do the Roots thing? Aren't we good enough parents?
Tony: Nancy was saying you were having some tension about oral sex.
Mel: Oh, so I'm 'Neurotic Guy', is that my designation?
Mrs. Coplin: This woman strikes me as being very dangerous.
Mrs. Coplin: I'm..uh..abrasive, pushy, defensive...my husband is...uh...food-phobic, passive-aggressive...eh?...c'mon!
Agent Paul: Without spontaneity, the world of B&B's is fairly meaningless.
Agent Tony: Do you mind if I look at your armpit? Nancy Coplin: My armpit? Agent Tony: It's my favorite part of a woman's body.
Mrs. Coplin: I told you to watch out for that car! Mr. Coplin: He was in my blind-spot. Mrs. Coplin: You could fit the whole state of Wisconsin in your blind-spot.
Mel: Have you ever heard of hypospadia? Tina: Is there something wrong with the plane?
Nancy: No thanks, I'm not hungry. Mel: Come on, Nance, you're always hungry.
Tony: Where did you two come down on the whole circumcision controversy? Tony: Personally, I think a boy's penis should look just like his father's.
Agent Tony: We're riding in two cars until we get to the B and B, Paul. That's not an agenda. Mel: Let's just hit the road, okay? Nancy Coplin: You don't mind if he rides with you, right? Mel: Why can't he ride with you? Agent Paul: Do you see what you're doing to me? Agent Tony: Ride with us. I don't care. Ride with us. Agent Paul: Oh, that's so generous of you, Tony. You know, I think I'll ride will illicit couple number two.
Mary Schlichting: How do you feel? Agent Paul: Vivid. I'm seeing colors I don't want to see.
Mary Schlichting: You apologize! Lonnie Schlichting: I'm sorry. Mary Schlichting: Sorry for what? Lonnie Schlichting: I'm sorry that I put windowpane in Mel's quail, and I'm sorry that you ate it.
Mary Schlichting: Oh, he was such a cute baby. Richard Schlichting: It would've been kinda nice... if he had, like, a third eye right there, you know? You know, you know, a third eye is a symbol of enlightenment. You know, he's not- he's not, he's not getting it. He's... Mary Schlichting: Mel... identity is nothing but a mental construct. Mel: Mental construct? Richard Schlichting: Have you ever read any Tibetan Buddhism, like Chaos theory?
Tina: Do you worry about the risk factor involved in gay sex? Agent Paul: You know, it may be news to you, but not every gay man has, uh, anal sex. That's where a lot of the HIV risk lies. Agent Tony: For example, I'm very anal. Uh, I-I mean, in, uh, in the sense... that I'm compulsively careful and clean about what touches my body. Not into penetration, at all. Mel: Okay, do we have to talk about this right now? Nancy Coplin: Well, why not? Are you a homophobic? Mel: No, I... Nancy Coplin: I think it's interesting. Mel: Really? Well, I think in front of the baby we shouldn't. Agent Paul: Nancy's just testing the risk factor for sex with Tony, Mel. Mel: What? Agent Tony: Paul, don't patronize her. Agent Paul: I'm not patronizing her. Agent Tony: She knows that I came of age in the era of AIDS... and even though I'm bisexual I've been incredibly careful, okay? Tested negative three times in the last seven months. Nancy Coplin: Really? Agent Paul: Runway ready for takeoff. Agent Tony: If I remember correctly. Yeah, three times.
Sheriff: Bobby, take these forms back to the office, these release forms and get these nice people their car keys. This is all over here. This is a Federal agent here, and he just told me the whole story about the Shlytings. Mr. Coplin: Schlitinooks. Sheriff: Shitkings. Mrs. Coplin: No, Schlichtings Sheriff: Well, anyway, it's clear that we have the wrong people here. Mel: That's what I've been trying to tell this guy for the last half hour. Mrs. Coplin: Thank God for this Federal agent. And by the way, w-w-why are you not wearing pants? Agent Paul: I had an experience, that's why. Mrs. Coplin: What do you mean? Agent Paul: I resisted at first, and then it evolved and it continues to evolve for me. Mrs. Coplin: I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I got some jewelery somewhere, if you please.
